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Stoners Like Star Trek

star_trek_csg_0141If a stoner is stoned enough they’ll just sit there and watch the blinking lights on a fucking Christmas tree, right? Well, that’s precisely why Star Trek is the quintessential stoner TV show, man. It’s filled with blinking lights and shit. They’ve got full walls filled with blinking lights and command centers filled with blinking lights and spaceships with tons of blinking lights all over ‘em. Oh, and Star Trek has got a whole bunch of hot chicks on it too! So what if they’re purple and have antennas…they still have big boobs, right? And, what’s not to like about boobs?

Star Trek is all super colorful too, dude. It’s like a cartoon with real actors (if you can call that shit acting). I mean look at Captain Kirk for instance…he’s the ultimate stoner! That dude’s so animated how could he not be a completely stoned cartoon parody? But, really…just the bright-ass visuals and the unforgiveable costumes, the card-board sets, the bad make-up (especially on the dudes)…all that shit is just soooo freakin’ captivating to stoners. Or it just goes completely unnoticed. And, don’t get started on all the cool gadgets and the awesome sound effects. I mean, the sound the phasers make and that “schwaaa” sound all the doors make when they slide open are just soooo cool when stoned, right? How many stoners wished their welcome mat sounded that rad?

star_trekStar Trek is funny as hell too, man. Wait? What? Are you certain… Star Trek isn’t a comedy? you lie! So all that running-across-the-room-and- slamming-into-walls thing they do during ill-fated Klingon attacks is really supposed to be believable? Ohh…we get it now. Star Trek is a drama. A portrayal of a Utopian society, eh? Marijuana must be legal in their part of the universe then! Never-the-less Star Trek is the shit when stoned.

Because when you are stoned, suspending belief is easy, another reason why 9 out of 10 stoners choose Star Trek. The show is set in the future but all of a sudden the dudes are fighting off lions and tigers in ancient Rome or they go back to some other fucked-up past decade and meet up with a180px-kurros ton of creatures that look about as real as toilet paper stuffed bras. Being stoned really does help when watching Star Trek however, because no one in their right mind thinks Trebbles are cute and big booby-ed purple chicks are that easy, right?

And, well…obviously stoners are only interested in the old school Star Trek because even they’re not high enough to believe George Costanza would make a good alien!

Question? If one Borg gets stoned…does the entire collective get stoned too?

bong-enterprise-large

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16 Responses to “Stoners Like Star Trek”

  1. Anthony Taurus
    March 10, 2009 at 6:31 pm #

    lol try cspan for congressional hearings.. make sure you play, spot the sleeper lol

  2. Baschive
    April 5, 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    holy shit i havent watched this show for the longest time

  3. D
    June 8, 2009 at 7:21 pm #

    Sorry but this I have to disagree with.

  4. benbenbenben
    June 22, 2009 at 7:13 pm #

    i just watched the borg episodes stoned moments before reading this

  5. Lyric
    October 13, 2009 at 9:59 am #

    I LOVE this show! I’m a HUGE TOS fan. And I always watch it stoned. It’s the best. ;)

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    February 19, 2010 at 12:23 pm #

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    February 19, 2010 at 12:24 pm #

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    November 7, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    eMAIL ME INFO ON THE ENTERPRISE E bong.

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  10. admin
    November 11, 2010 at 3:42 pm #

    shit, dude…would if we could. try looking online? oh wait…you’re already online. here…try this link: http://tinyurl.com/3xqzac8

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