Does God’s Pussy Really Exist? The Cannabis Cup Controversy

Dude, Christians sure are taking a beating this week with the Supreme Court’s ruling in favor of the Separation of Church and State in a dispute between Hastings, a San Francisco law school and a Christian club, the Christian Legal Society of Assholes, that excludes gays and nonbelievers, but at least the best medical marijuana in all of the United States of American isn’t still named God’s Pussy. Dude, who would have ever saw a problem with that name coming?

Over father’s day weekend, High Times magazine held the completely sold out First Annual High Times Medical Cannabis Cup in San Francisco. Despite long lines and crazy congestion the event was a smashing success and culminated on Sunday with the crowning of the best pot in the land, broken down into categories for best Sativa (the kind of herb that gets ya high), Indica (the kind of herb that gets ya stoned), and a bunch of other shit. All the key players were there on Sunday evening to hear who’d hoist the Cup including Dennis Peron, Will Foster, Jorge Cervantes, DJ Short, BOG, MzJill, and SubCool. And, to everyone’s surprise…it was a strain called God’s Pussy that landed the top honors! Many scoffed at the name, but the mainstream press reported on it, which was all out hilarity, and for a day or two the best herbal remedy in the land came in the form of  God’s Pussy. (check out our review of God’s Pussy)

But, within a few days of the glorious event High Times had officially changed the name of the winning strain to Vortex. WTF? What happened to God’s Pussy? Does it really even exist or was the mighty High Times, defenders of FREE SPEECH, offended by all the blasphemy?

“I think growers should be a bit more creative with their names,” Executive Editor for High Times magazine told Stuff Stoners Like. “Strain names like Green Crack or God’s Pussy are offensive. As a creative community, I think we can do better.”

“The next day after the event, the uproar on the internet grew loud enough that the winning listing was changed to include Vortex along with an ‘aka’,” said SubCool of TGA SubCool Seeds who also entered the exact same strain of herb…interestingly enough, the two samples tested within .016 of each others’ potency.

“When they announced the winner of the Sativa as Jack Grean’s God’s Pussy the female announcer struggled with the offensive name but sure enough the world now knows what a mockery this event was to the Medical Movement, women, and anyone who believes in a higher power. I was shocked to see no mention of the strain’s real name in any High Times press release,” SubCool told Stuff Stoners Like.

Apparently, Jack Grean of GreanBicycles dispensary grew out a pack of Vortex seeds from SubCool’s TGA Seeds. By the way…Vortex is a cross between Apollo-13 and Space Queen, an 80/20 Sativa to Indica hybrid that’s spacey name was decided upon by 1000 growers who entered a contest to name the strain so there’s a bit of legacy to the name. Grean, allegedly found a special phenotype, grew it out and renamed it God’s Pussy, which is a practice you see happen over in Amsterdam, the home of the Cannabis Cup for the last twenty-two years.

“As the complaints piled up on High Time’s website below the results, by Wednesday morning the offensive name had been removed and a video posted where the winning grower acknowledges that it was indeed TGA’s Vortex that was the strain he entered and then renamed,” said SubCool.

“While I really really wanted a cup myself I am really happy that all it took to win the cup was a pack of my seeds,” said SubCool.

“I hope the High Times crew takes this as constructive criticism and makes some changes for the next event. I have been in contact with the grower (Jack Grean) who said he’d never won anything in his life and just didn’t expect to win at all and he couldn’t feel worse about the whole ordeal. High Times has been awesome after the screw up making amends and have made it clear that Vortex won.”

They Grow Up Sooooo Quickly



33 Responses to “Does God’s Pussy Really Exist? The Cannabis Cup Controversy”

  1. Danielle

    I’m not speaking for any others, but I’m an atheist radical feminist, and I have to say, the name just made me wanna try it. If something is called God’s Pussy, you know it’s gotta be damn good.

  2. Subcool

    The problem is it already has a name the one given to it by its creator.
    The other problem is it may be cool for you but as a parent teaching the next generation some manners its offensive at many levels.

  3. Danielle

    What on earth does this have to do with manners? Pussy isn’t a bad word. People use it as an insult, but pussy in and of itself? Nothing bad. Correct terminology? Hell no.

    I understand it as “god’s pussy”=something really, really special.

    It seems like there’s a lot more you could be concerned about that the name of a marijuana strain. Maybe teach them about the sexism in the marijuana rights movement, I don’t know.

  4. Subcool

    That is the point Hon 100% woman are exploited enough in this world without me having to explain to a 10 year old why that same mind set is now entering the medical movement.
    Your one of the very few women I have met who are not offended by the name but to each his or her own.

  5. Danielle

    1. Don’t call me Hon (I’m not trying to sound rude with that, btw.)

    2. I just don’t know what’s offensive. Or maybe it’s because I ran out of steam after seeing so much sexist crap within this movement in the past few weeks. Gimmie time, maybe I’ll come around after re-energizing haha.

  6. Mr. Premium

    I consider this fairly ridiculous. It’s not exploitation, it’s a name! And if you think about it, a fairly flattering one at that. Calling it offensive to women, especially if you’re a man, to me seems somewhat patronizing, or as if women everywhere are weak enough to be exploited.

    Well, that depends, but I think it’s actually a real shame to get rid of such a great name just because there are prudes in the world that can’t handle a little sexuality. And don’t get me started on children and censorship!

    Guys, calling names like these offensive gives it that negativity. In reality, it’s all in your head. The only meaning language has is the context we give it. Look: Pussy is definitely a good thing, and if it’s god-like then ye gads, that deserves all the worship it wants. A kind of weed with that name must live up to that level of quality!

  7. Sam

    I’m a lady and i’m not offended in the slightest. I’m a proud pussy. Pussy=Awesome. And why would a feminist have a problem with the assumption that god is a woman? Makes sense to me.

    I’ve gotta try that weed!

  8. itsmaybelline

    Wow the above argument between the feminist twat and Subcool is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.

  9. Danielle

    Wow, thank you so much for calling me a twat.

    If I had been offended by it, i’d be a stuck up bitch, right?

  10. Adnois

    halleluja wazzup… i just wanted to say that my Commodore C64 is crashing when I click on the text… are you using some javascript or whatever?

  11. Nicola Tesla

    Danielle your a CUNT. Feminism is a gross disgusting vile thing

  12. emiel

    i just think of it as god’s pussy and want to lick it :p

  13. weedsnobs

    First of all the grower who submitted the strain knew it was called Vortex. He basically took someone else genetics used the rubber stamp and made it God’s Pussy. Special phenotype my ass. To find a special pheno he would have had to have grown out 100s of plants from seed then maybe he would have found something special. As far as all the weed snobs like Subcool who think the name is offensive that does not make much sense to me. I doubt they would have cared what it was called if his Vortex had won…but it did win, so what is he crying about. Got to love drama in the medicinal arena. God’s Pussy is a term used in Pineapple Express when Dale smells the PE he quips, “That smells like GODS VAGINA!” So, I laughed then and I laugh now at people caring what a strain is called. I’m going to breed all my strains to have vulgar nonsensical names just so whiney bitches have something to wine about when I win the HT MEDICAL CUP. Suck on that.

  14. Terrell Sau

    nice stuff mate.really enjoyed it,simple and clear.i have a site about this too , check out famelove(dot)org

  15. Anonymous

    pussy girl

  16. God's Pussy

    Nicola, as we’ve established, cunt is a good ass thing.

  17. tron

    hey yawl… check out FRANK KUSH in the future okay??
    Its something special for sure.
    purple cotton candy crossed with KAndy kush from R.privada…

    as for gods pussy? kind of dumb… lets not care so much -okay?
    pleez be nice to each other… we are fellow herbalists for fucks sake!

  18. Anonymous

    Thats straight up bullshit, no matter how offensive or not, u should still be open minded enough and respectfull enough to consider everyone else feelings and beliefs wether u believem or not. Just because it sounds cool doesnt mean its ok, im not standing up for anyone but myself, all im sayin is be respectfull enough to consider other peoples feelings. Religion in general shouldnt be involved with somethin like bud, im a big stoner myself but still, just be considerate.

  19. Anonymous

    You also have to understand that saying “God’s Pussy” is fuckin dumb. It just shows how unimaginative and ignorant we are. Dont try and bring the feminism bullshit into the conversation because it has nothing to do with that, its morally offense, plain and simple, just not right in the eyes of any christian etc. Im not standing up for them, but im saying that if people would come up with more creative or eccentric names then we wouldnt even have these problems, people bring these stupid arguments on themselves by provoking negative conflict.

  20. Reid

    I can totally understand why the name was changed officially. I am an atheist myself, but especially considering that we are trying to legitimize medical marijuana — using a name like “God’s Pussy” is only going to dampen our efforts. Also, holding a public “competition” for “medical” marijuana strains is questionable in itself…

    Having said that, smoke weed e’ry day.

  21. blue dream

    is it reall????

  22. matt mernagh

    typical high times, weak knee pussies. maybe the name change was the difference maker. ie a good name was all it took to take home cup. Vortex vs. God Pussy. what would you vote a little higher when your stoned.

  23. smokeyy

    dude the name is awesome. i dont really see a problem with it..i understand all of the problems people are having with sexism, offensive to the christian world and all that jazz, but really its just an epic name for a godlike weed.

  24. Name

    dude, at least that guy acknowledged whose seeds they were. He gave credit where it was due. Whats the big deal sub? Be honored. I dont however think he has some super rare pheno. I just think vortex is the bomb thats all.

  25. Bish

    I think what offends people other than a ripoff of the strain is people just don’t like perceiving God as female. I mean it brings knee jerk responses, hey your changing the rules! If God is male, men can be in still in charge of social institutions. Yeah, Yeah I know we’ve come a long way, baby. I mean with all the naked women on seeds sites and in advertising in grow rags are you telling me the majority were sincere when they said they were offended? Duh, if they are so offended be mad at high times, rosebud, etc…..PULEEZE tell the truth, the offense committed was shaking up the comfort zone.
    You can’t tell me the industry really cares with how they advertise.

  26. Mark

    I couldn’t even get through all the stupid comments. Who gives a fuck you goddamned morons? You are a pretentious asshole mr. Sub-dick. Someone pops a better bean, you dont get the credit and act all high ‘n’ mighty. You fuckers dont give a damn about “Medical Marijuana” at High Times. Never have. Never will. All about the $$$ and the Egos!!! Fuck all of you rotten hippocrits! It is you fuckers at HT and NORML that have set back OUR movement. The MEDICAL movement.NOT the “lets ride the medical claim all the way to full legalization and profits” movement. As for the breeders. I’m sick of your lies about genetics. Anything to make a buck.Fuck ALL of you. Makes me sicker than I all ready am when I dont know what I’m smoking. When will the real patients demand their rights? I’ve smoked this stuff and it is crap.The Real McCoy would kick it’s ass. Big surprise to those who know eh? The more genetic variation, the less stable and less quality the herb is. Period.Every old schooler knows this,yet the seed breeder pissing contest continues.Why? The kids who smoke/grow this garbage dont know the fucking difference!Once in a great while a new pheno of some same ol’ shit grows out and it’s good. 5000 strains consisting of about 10 or 12 landrace does not make anything new under the sun, it just makes some stupid asshole think he’s special cuz he “bred” it or smoked it.Yawn. The Canna culture has become a big bore.I’m willing to bet I’m not alone in being fed up either. Those who wanna rip on me can.All you will do is just prove my point.

  27. jack grean

    wow, the power of words. using “god’s pussy” as a name was not meant to offend anyone, although it obviously has. here is the story.

    when I first opened a well cured jar of a particular pheno of vortex, the smell was overwhelming. sweet, fruity, musky funk and simply delicious. my first thought was that if god had a pussy this is what it would smell like. the name just stuck. if I had to do it over again I would not use “god’s pussy” as a public name, although I think it is quite descriptive and still personally use it. I can not let other peoples sensibilities filter out mine can I?

    renaming strains? after reading subcool’s book “dank” where he claims to found a excellent pheno of a strain called “skoosh” and named it mr. clean, I did not think it was a big deal.
    btw, how does anyone know it was “vortex”? it is because I put it on the entry form, I gave a sample of “god’s pussy” to subcool himself the day before winners were announced, I acknowledged it when I accepted the award. I thought I went out of my way to promote vortex as well as tga seeds.
    anyways…I just wanted to give my point of view.

    jack grean
    http://www.greanbicyles.com

  28. Qaneh-Bosm

    I don’t know… To me the two potentially (and actively) offended parties (religious folk and women) are subject to a misinterpretation. At least to me, the name gives props to the feminine side of God, the Shekhinah in Judaism, the Sophia, the Mysterious Feminine of the Daodejing, or the many goddesses in the Near East and Asia and Europe with whom marijuana was associated in ancient times. To me “pussy” isn’t a dirty word, but its only a negative context is disrespectful to women. Marijuana does in a way seem like a manifestation of yin, especially since we only get high from the female plants, who give a deeply pungent intoxicating odor. The pleasure I get from ganja is second only to the pleasure I get from my fiancee, who I love and respect. I love God and am able to recognize the Feminine aspect of Creation and Creator, and the equalizing aspect of the herb He/She has created.
    As Laozi has written in the Daodejing, ch. 6,
    “The mystery of the Valley is immortal;
    It is known as the Mysterious Female.
    The gateway of the Mysterious Female
    Is the source of the Heaven and Earth.”

  29. Dr Zhang

    We’re getting close to the last gasp of prohibition. The only thing left is the thrashing of the corpse.

    That said, we have to take responsibility for the actions of those we choose to represent us. Growers, clinic owners, breeders, users, etc have to realize that as we become more visible in the larger society, we have to be aware of what is acceptable and what is not. What was cool and edgy last week, plays like a fart in church now.

    Suppose a strain comes out of LA called ‘Spearchucker”. Now, suppose it was bred and grown by an African-American artisan. Does that make the name more palatable or is it still offensive? (note: I use this archaic term instead of the obvious one because I refuse to use the ‘n-word’ in any connotation.)

    At the risk of ruffling some feathers, our community has to grow the fuck up. Some of us have been in this industry for over 30 years. We can’t afford to continually add to the negative stereotype when we are this close to our ultimate goal. It could become a ‘two steps forward, three steps back’ scenario.

    I’ve met and discussed cannabis culture and cultivation with some amazing artisans who are as adept at breeding and growing as any professor of horticulture. Unfortunately, many of those dudes still act like they’re 17 yrs old staying out past curfew.

    When prohibition finally falls, those of us doing Gaia’s work will reap great rewards but each time we take the discussion into the gutter, we give prohibition a jolt, keeping it alive another day.

    If you want to be taken serious, leave the clown shoes at home.

  30. GAV THE'SMOKA

    LADIES AND GENTS !!!!! LETS JUST BE GLAD WE HAVE THE PRIVILEDGE TO BE AROUND SUCH GREAT AGRICULTURE IN OUR LIFETIME !!! GOD’S PUSSY SOUNDS REAAAALLLYYY GREAT BTW :)

  31. dor

    how sad for a community like ours to have such a problem with the name “god’s pussy”. i mean can’t we just let go?

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