Jet Water Pipe Review. Ready Go. We’re going to come right out and say it—we fucking love this thing.* Why? It’s unbreakable and hits like a motherfucker. That’s it. That’s all you really need to know. Review over. You should get one. Done. Because, what more could you ask for in a piece?
Not sure ‘bout you, but we smoke weed eryday. That means we need some durable tools and shit to get the job done. Here’s the thing. We don’t always have time for a joint. Okay, we do. Because we’ll always make time for a joint. But, maybe we want a quick bong hit while we wait for the joint to get passed back. Some of our friends are talkative. And they need to learn the joint ain’t no microphone and pass that shit already. Sure, we love glass bongs too with all their fancy shapes and colors and filters and perks and diffusers and ash catchers and flux capacitors and gyrocscopic telekenetic bullshit converters and stuff. But, as cool and complex as they are, they’re fragile and expensive as fuck and nothing kills a buzz faster than listening to Coldplay or breaking an expensive piece. Not to mention breaking some art. That shit takes someone’s skill and time. And like paper beats rock, concrete slab beats glass bong every time so seeing someone’s skill and time shattered all over the floor sucks almost as much as cleaning up bong water. Damnit. If we only had a dime for every glass bong we broke, we’d have enough to buy one of these Jet Water Pipes. Sure, this thing is expensive, but you know what? It ain’t gonna break. We watched a video of one of these things being flung to the ground by some dude on a ladder. He wasn’t even mad at the bong or anything. It was all to prove that this thing is tough. It can take a beating like…like…okay, we’ll leave that pun alone. But, you know what broke on it after it hit the ground in the video? Nothing. Nothing was hurt, not even the Jet bong’s feelings. Suffice to say this thing’s durable, dude.
It’s also purty fuckin’ trick. Instead of fragile perks, this thing has a precision engineered filtration system. When you take a hit, it’s like a fuckin’ cyclone goes off inside. The water bubbles so much that it actually starts to foam. It’s awesome. Our test bong has the upgraded JT-X5 diffuser core…that’s probably the reason. Not sure. But, remember those Beastie Boys videos with all the foamy beer flying everywhere? It’s just like that…but only inside a bong. Like a fuckin’ party of bubbly water and pot smoke. Oh and most importantly, hits are smooth and tasty. And big. The chamber is long, which is cool for taking really big hits.
This thing’s got a really interesting carb. All you gotta do to clear the bong is pull down and inhale. Clearly this isn’t the bong for a stoner like Bill Clinton, but a seasoned choomer like president Barack Obama would really love this feature because it makes inhaling hella easy. One cool thing is that you can add whatever bowl you’d like to this thing…as long as it’s a standard 14mm glass-on-glass bowl. We’d take a pic of one of ours on it, but all we got are 16mm. Useless fucking 16mm bowls from all these long-gone broken bongs just cluttering up our space. Should charge these things rent, man. So that’s why we dig the stock bowl…for that reason. And because it looks like something we’d steal off a bazillion dollar fighter jet. And it’s nice and deep…like a salad bowl. You know, to hold shit like…salad.
What else to say? Let’s see. It’s BPA-free. It’s all interchangeable and stuff so you can buy new pieces if you break or lose ‘em or wanna upgrade. Oh and since it’s interchangeable you can put all the components in the dishwasher. Yer Jet bong comes out nice and clean, but your dishes smell like bong water. So we recommend that you either wash this thing by hand in the sink or run this thing by itself in the dishwasher and maybe run it a time or two while empty…before you use it again. Got any questions? Just ask. Oh and read part one of the interview with the Jet dudes coming soon. We ask ‘em all the hard bong-hitting questions like what’s this thing made outta, how does the hi-tech filtration work, what’s your favorite Pink Floyd record, etc.
*Disclaimer…this review was written while under the influence of marijuana administered from our Jet Bong. Did we mention how much we dig the Jet bong? Yeah, that’s right, we did. Okay cool.
Bonus Disclaimer…this thing says “for tobacco use only”. But like, for this review we used WEED. So like, that means we probably voided our warranty and stuff.