We’re down to show you how to smoke. Not because smoking weed is so mainstream and so is vaporizing weed for that matter. Not because everybody seems to be doing it or looking to get in on doing it. We decided to teach you how to smoke because we’re weed-smoking experts and thought it would be cool to put together a beginners guide to smoking weed. Because we’re cool like that. And that way you can use our How to Smoke Guide so you don’t get ripped off or look like a fool. Yup—teaching people how to smoke weed is just another service we offer here at Stuff Stoners Like.
Smoking weed for the first time
Are you smoking weed for the first time? No big deal, dude. Unless your mom got stoned while she was pregnant with you, you’ll have a first time getting high—everybody does from Snoop Dogg to Willie Nelson to Bob Marley. Anyhow if you’re smoking weed for the first time we recommend that you find a stoner who you can trust to be your Sherpa. Your stoner friend probably already has weed, will be more than happy to help get started smoking weed and will be a wealth of information. So don’t be afraid to ask questions—especially when you’re stoned.
If you take on the task of being a stoner Sherpa here are a few recommendations for smoking someone out for the first time:
- Don’t be pushy. Unless someone’s really in need of weed, like they’ve got some serious health issues, there’s no need to push weed on ‘em.
- Stick to weed. Don’t add booze or other drugs to the first time someone smokes weed. Allow them to experience weed and only weed. You should probably start with marijuana flowers before moving on to cannabis concentrates aka hash or dabs. Baby steps. A hit or two from a vape pen qualifies, but smoking weed is a more authentic and memorable experience. However using a vaporizer might be a good start.
- Start clean. Your first taste of weed should be pure so make sure to use a clean pipe or bong. If you start with a joint, get in on that shit right after it’s lit. A day old, half-smoked, left-over joint doesn’t taste as good as a fresh new one.
- Have supplies. Good weed goes well with good food and good music. (Check this out if you’re looking for the best music to listen to when you’re stoned.) Or maybe even a good stoner movie. Actually nothing goes better with good weed than a really nice sunshiny day and experiencing nature. Go for a walk, man, or lay on the grass and look at the sky.
- Don’t trip. Once the high kicks in just go with it. Enjoy it, man. Being stoned is a gift to be enjoyed—not something to worry about. So don’t judge first-time stoners. You were there once. Oh and if paranoia creeps up, just stay cool. Remind your friend that they’ll be fine—nobody has died from weed. Just put on some Pink Floyd and go chill for a little bit.
Things to smoke weed out of
Looking for things to smoke weed out of? It’s best to plan ahead and have rolling papers or a pipe rather than scambling for thing to smoke weed out of, dude. You can always hollow out an apple or make a gravity bong. Check out our Top Ten Ways to Smoke Weed for more methods.
For smoking weed for the first time we recommend a joint, preferably rolled in Stuff Stoners Like pure hemp rolling papers. Joints are uncomplicated, simple to operate, don’t need a carb and don’t shatter when you drop ‘em on the garage floor. Next up would be a nice clean glass pipe.
Here’s a quick primer on a few of the popular different ways to smoke weed—yes including an apple.
How to smoke weed from a pipe aka how to smoke a bowl
Here’s how to smoke a bowl in a nutshell. Drop in some weed, light and inhale. But there are a few things that you can do to make sure it all goes well. Grind the weed. You don’t need a fancy weed grinder, there are plenty of ways to grind weed without a weed grinder. But make sure that you break up your weed. That way you’ll increase the surface area, helping it stay lit and burn evenly. Don’t grind your weed into a powder, just enough to ensure it’s busted up, but won’t fall through the hole in the pipe. Next look to see if the pipe has a carborator aka carb or a whole to allow air flow. Hold your finger over the hole while ignighting the weed and release it as you inhale—that’s all you need to do to mind the carb. If you’ve got it, use a hemp wick instead of a lighter so you’re not inhaling butane. Oh and make sure you don’t use a white lighter to smoke weed.
How to smoke a joint
Pro-tip? Make sure the joint is completely lit before you start chonging on it or it’s more likely to run. Just take your time lighting it. Slowly spin the joint as you light it and take a few soft puffs to see how it’s burning. If it’s burning evenly—start taking bigger puffs, dude. You can use a li’l bit of saliva to slow a run in a joint or blunt. Just lick your finger and apply some spit to the spot that’s running. You’re welcome.
Also, don’t worry about inhaling a ton of smoke at once. Taking multiple small puffs is just as effective and don’t worry about holding the smoke in for a long time. You’ll get stoned by just inhaling it. Keeping it in will just irritate your lungs and cause you to cough. If you do cough, there’s no shame. You’ve head the expression, If you don’t cough you don’t get off, right?
How to smoke a blunt
Smoke a blunt just like you’d smoke a joint. Keep in mind that a blunt is a mix of weed and tobacco so you’re not just getting stoned and you’re not just tasting bud. So we recommend that if you’re learning how to smoke weed that you should start with a joint to avoid the toxins in tobacco and get the true flavor of cannabis terpenes.
How to smoke weed out of a bong
With all the perks and differs and filters in ’em bongs look complicated. But smoking pot out of a bong really isn’t. Like some pipes, some bongs have a carb. Find it and plug it while you inhale. Some bongs have a slide bowl. Light your weed, inhale and once you’ve got a nice milky-white collection of smoke in the bong pull up the bowl and inhale deeply. Check this out if you’re looking for some help on how to clean a bong.
How to smoke weed out of a hookah
Hookahs take a lot of weed. So unless you grow weed or have a lot of money to burn we don’t recommend using a hookah to smoke pot. If you do, just treat the weed like tobacco. Heat up the stones and toss on the weed. Unlike smoking a bowl, a common synonym for pipe, while smoking a hookah your weed is on fire the whole time.
First you need to make an apple pipe. It doesn’t matter what kind of apple you use to make an apple pipe—Granny Smith, those big fucking red ones that taste like wax or those hella sour little green ones—as long as it’s firm and fresh. To construct an apple pipe here’s what you do:
- Twist of the stem off the apple—this is where the bowl’s going to go.
- Stab a hole in the top of the apple and create a tunnel about 1/2 way through the fruit.
- Poke another hole through the side of the apple to connect with the tunnel from the top of the apple. You’re basically creating an “L” shape the fruit. If you go all the way through the apple—congratulations you’ve made a carb.
- Get rid of any li’l apple bits hanging on that could obstruct airflow and now test your fruit making sure you can blow through it. to make sure you can blow through the apple.
That’s it—you’re done, dude. Pack your weed in the top hole, plug the carb with your finger and inhale through the side hole. Don’t pull too hard, dude, or you’ll pull the weed into the apple. There’s no need for tin foil or little metal screens for this apple pipe—you don’t want to heat that shit up and inhale those fumes anyhow. Keep it all natural. And don’t eat your apple pipe afterwards—toss that shit in the compost.
How to smoke weed without smell
If you’re worried about someone smelling that you’re smoking weed, don’t trip. Here’s how to make a sploof in one simple step. WTF is a sploof? A sploof is a stealth smoking device used to mask or eliminate the odor of marijuana smoke. A standard sploof is typically made out a paper towel roll and dryer sheets. You probably have that stuff lying around right now.
By the way—no—your non-stoner friends aren’t going to fail a drug test if they inhale second hand smoke while they watch you get stoned. According to a recent study positive tests are “likely to be rare” from secondhand weed smoke, the authors concluded, “limited to the hours immediately post-exposure, and occurring only under environmental circumstances where exposure is obvious.” So as long as you don’t hot box a car with several stoners for several hours and go to a job interview soon after and pee in a cup you’ll be fine.
By the way if you’re worried about passing a drug test check out our post: How Long Does Weed Stay in Your System to quickly get the important background information. Next check out our post How to Pass a Drug Test if you’ve got one coming up. Pro tip: Use synthetic urine to pass one.
Also don’t buy weed online. Sure you’re friend says he scored some weed online, but we assure you Craigslist Denver Is NOT A Legal Marijuana Marketplace. So go to a legal marijuana dispensary or check out our directory to help you find marijuana. Or kick back, order a pizza and some marijuana delivery and have weed brought right to your doorstep.
Additional smoking pot resources
Here are three more resources to make sure you don’t get burned: How Many Grams in an Eighth of Weed? How Many Grams In An Ounce of Weed? and How Much is An Ounce of Weed? Consult these before making any necessary purchases.
So that’s it, dude. Above is everything you need to know to either embark on your first foray into getting stoned or to smoke someone out for the first time. Did we leave anything out? Let us know win the comments below…