Marlboro M? WTF is that?
The short answer is no. No it’s not. Not at all. It was a hoax—an april fools joke that was apparently started by a satire site site called Abril Uno, which if that sounds familiar to you in even the slightest, it’s probably because the name translates to April One. It’s always amusing when real news sites pick up on fake news and rewrite the article as if it was real. I’m not sure what they are teaching these kids in journalism school, but for fucks sake, let’s all try and read a little passed the headline before we become amplifiers for this fake nonsense. The story was first published back in 2014, and has been spun and respun ever since.
Marlboro Marijuanas Real? Snope.
As more and more states re-legalize cannabis for the masses, we’ll be seeing a lot more of this type of wishful thinking fiction. It’s funny to, because it’s something that the actual cannabis industry is definitely not catching feels for. Once a multinational corporation like Philip Morris gets involved in the cannabis industry, every hard working individual that’s been living and breathing weed from day one has their worst fear realized. After spending their life savings to jump through all of the flaming hoops that are laid out in front of anyone trying to start a legitimate cannabis business, it’s gotta be the biggest nightmarish slap in the face to see a company that’s been peddling death in a box to the masses swoop in and takeover. That would definitely be some stuff stoners don’t like.
Marlboro M Brand Marijuana Cigarette
In states that now have full fledged recreational cannabis systems in place, the marijuana cigarette or weed cigarette can be found stocking each and every recreational marijuana store and medical cannabis dispensary shelf. They are usually called pre rolls but names for shit vary depending on where you live. Are any of them riding their horse out of Marlboro country? They sure aren’t. You won’t find marlboro cannabis inside of Marlboro cannabis cigarettes, nor will you find Marlboro marijuana inside of any sort of Marlboro weed cigarettes. Weird right? One would assume a company like Altria that owns a company like Philip Morris and Nabisco would be chomping at the bit to turn some of those killer tobacco fields into some monstrous marijuana making plantations to sell as Nabisco Weed Thins and of course, the Marlboro M. But so far, it’s all just been fake news and speculation.
Marlboro Marijuana cigarettes aka the Marlboro Green Pack
I’m glad Marlboro M cigarettes aren’t a real thing. As much as I’m a fan of an open market, I’m a bigger fan of cannabis, and I definitely don’t want to see Marlboro marijuanas cigarette on the market. I mean for real, a Marlboro weed cigarette would probably be full of all the nasty shit they put in tobacco so they can continue to keep people addicted and controlled. I’m hoping we don’t ever see Marlboro weed cigarettes for sale. Could you imagine how bad Marlboro joints would taste? Or how shitty smoking a marlboro weed pack would make you feel? Cannabis cigarettes have been around a long ass time. Probably longer than Altria or Philip Morris or any of those large multinational corporations that control our world have been busting out shady business as usual. If we ever do find ourselves occupying a reality space that involves marlboro weed cigs, Marlboro Greens, or anything like that, it might be time to pinch ourselves and make sure we aren’t in the middle of some sort of weird waking life style nightmare.
The day Marlboro M becomes a reality is the day cannabis cigarettes jump the shark, and I’ll probably start smoking a more exotic substance. Like crack. But thinking about it, what would the Marlboro marijuanas cigarette price be? Probably something ridiculous like 50 bucks a pack, but who knows.
Of course I kid, crack is wack and I would never do that again. But for real, let’s keep companies that have been profiting from making us all fat and addicted to smoking out of cannabis, at least until the rest of us can get a little piece. Or find a new planet to go live on. I would also be ok with that. We definitely don’t want the Marlboro weed cigarettes price to hurt the competition of smaller, more boutique brands that we see in stores today.
We’re you duped by the pictures of Marlboro M cigarettes online? Know someone who refuses to believe that them shit’s aren’t real? Let us know in the comments section below.
By: Mat Lee