BREAKING NEWS–Company to Sell Spray To Make Any Plant Produce THC

Our prayers have been answered and we’re not talking about Legalization. Soon, you’ll be able to smoke a tomato to get stoned. Yep, a few days ago scientists at Montsaint Genie Tech Inc. announced that they have successfully transferred the gene segment that produces THC in weed to many other common garden plants, including tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, and more.

Sounds too good to be true? Oh, and close your mouth by the way…there’s more; “We probably can put the THC segment into almost any plant in existence,” says lead scientist Rebeca Vale. “It’s a very simple process. We are starting work on oak and maple trees now.” Oh, man, just imagine chicken ‘n’ waffles and syrup that gets you stoned!

topsy-turvy-tomato-planter1But wait a second, you can’t really get stoned from a vine ripened tomato can you? “If someone were to dry it and smoke it, all of the medicinal and psychotropic effects of marijuana would be present. And what’s more, we have learned that tomatoes, in particular, actually produce more THC than cannabis itself,” says the coolest scientist on the face of planet Earth, Vale.

Okay, great, I can smoke a tomato and get stoned, but is this tomato, which has been touched by the hand of god, legal? “Actually, yes,” says Vale. Wha?

“Our research qualifies as GMO ‘intellectual property’, as does the process itself. Since tomatoes and other plants are not illegal, a person would be well within the law to grow them and use them as they please,” says Vale. She also says that her soon to be coolest company on planet Earth is working on a spray that will transfer the segment to many plants simply by spraying the leaves of seedlings.

“It’s a very simple process,” she says. “Anyone can do it. We plan to start selling the spray – ‘Genie Mist’ – in a matter of weeks. One bottle will sell for five dollars and be capable of treating 6,000 seedlings.”

C’mon, these things have to taste like shit, right? So, uhm how do they taste? “Scrumptious,” Vale says. “But, of course, they are best when roasted.”



17 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS–Company to Sell Spray To Make Any Plant Produce THC”

  1. SparkyGump

    Are you kidding me?

  2. felipe faria

    that’s interesting, but personally I would never substitute
    my weed for fucking tomatoes’11 eventhough they could get me high!

    the natural thing is way better, plus, smoking tomatoes rather than week is lame. Are you giving up on weed, is that it?
    it is not all about the thc!! the plant as a whole is the special thing.

  3. Chu Re Dag

    What happens if you spray bud plants with it? More THC?

  4. t2c2009

    THC is Alcohol and Fat soluble. So you could potentially choose a faster growing plant like lettuce and extract the TCH into oil. Also it may help the Hemp industry by taking the pressure off of Marijuana. Hemp can help the world if just given the chance. However can anyone find any information on Montsaint Genie Tech? I can’t find anything other than the social networks talking about this article.

  5. serious

    it’s a joke or a hoax. you can’t genetically modify a plant with a spray, and if you could, it would still be considered illegal… and if you could, and if it were legal, $5 for 6000 THC plants? They would have to be retarded to charge so little.

  6. dom

    not sure if this soloution will not cause more problems that its worth best to leave the environment as untouched as possible …

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  10. aeon

    Just put the spray in ur mouth lol

  11. FAKE

    Montsaint reffers to Monsanto, an agricultural company known along with so many others for geneticly modifying their products. If you google search it you’ll see that no such Montsaint Genie Tech inc. exists. Sorry to be a buzzkill hahaha

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