Michael Phelps is a Stoner and a Sell Out

You all know this Michael Phelps guy, he’s like 50% dolphin, 50% human and 100% bad-ass swimmer. He just killed it at the recent Beijing Olympic games winning a record eight gold medals, right. Well, some lame-ass Brit tabloid snagged a photo of the dude taking a bong hit. Big fucking deal, right? What’s the problem with a bong hit, man? This dude works his ass off swimming like 16 hours every single fucking day, eating bullshit diet food, tolerating to a ton of pressure and media scrutiny and all the bullshit bureaucracy and pageantry that goes along with representing your country at the Olympics. So, man, you deserve some time off to get stoned. Don’t be ashamed of that shit! What sucks is that he just issued a pussy-ass “I’m sorry” statement. Phelps said: “I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Come on Michael Phelps, dude, we needed you, man! You could have been a hero all over again…a hero to the pot counter-culture…which, dude, isn’t the minority like you think. Innapropriate? Dude, big fucking deal? You got high,you didn’t murder someone! You could have said, SO THE FUCK WHAT. You could have taken a stance against the bullshit opression stoners face and used your fame and your talent to show the world that weed ain’t no big deal–it doesn’t kill like alcohol or tobacco–that you’re a real dude, a 23-year-old who took a bong hit at a party and is still a champ, you chump.