BREAKING NEWS–McDonald’s Happy Meals Include Weed!

marijuanamcdonalds1Okay, how many times have you opened up your McDonald’s Happy Meal and wished the prize inside was a pipe, a lighter and a bag of weed? Yeah, us too!Well, that’s exactly what happened to some lucky li’l 8-year-old girl in Chicago according to the AP.

Instead of thanking McDonalds and bogarting their kid’s stash like most parents, anti-stoners Keith and Andrea Irelan phoned the Chi-town PD who went on down to the generous dispensary McDonald’s to question staff.

Apparently fellow employees and managers at the McDonald’s ratted out 17-year-old McDonald’s (former—you think Mickey D’s is gonna stand for that shit?) employee  Brandon Scott. Police Chief Brian Zeilmann said Scott has been charged with possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.
Police said Scott came to work and  forgot he had his marijuana and pipe in his pocket. He ditched his gear in a Happy Meal box where he thought he could get it at the end of his shift…but some other employee filled it with substances much more deadly than weed, like a fucking burger made from the parts of what like 50 individual cows, artery-clogging hydrogenated oil and lethal amounts of sodium and sugar, then handed it to the Irelans.

McDonald’s released a statement saying the employee was  immediately fired. And, of course the Irelans plan to sue the McDonald’s corporation.

4 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS–McDonald’s Happy Meals Include Weed!”

  1. Sarah

    I’ve never been much for any kind of drug, medical or not. I go for organic and herbal when I can, so what about legal highs, do they work?

  2. Anonymous

    sarah are you really that dense? Weed is organic and herbal….no legal highs do nothing

  3. jo mama

    i agree with the dude ahead of me. weed is totally organic….. and AMAZING. the first chick is a little bit…. slow on the draw. i love weed.. and i wish that i was in the place of that 8 year old kid….. 😀
    i already get plenty of weed…. but weed, a pipe, a lighter, AND dangerous anectdote for the munchies!? thats stoner paradise…. sorta.

  4. cuz

    it was not in chicago u dumbass it was ottawa..tht was my cousin tht did it

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