More Deadly than Weed: Karaoke

karaoke killsMore Deadly than Weed: Karaoke

By: Mat Lee

Of course most things related to alcohol are going to be more deadly than weed. That’s low hanging fruit for sure. Unless you are using it to sterilize a lab or something, we all know how dumb it can make people. Today I don’t want to talk about alcohol specifically, but rather something people do at bars while they are getting tuned up. That’s right, karaoke is more deadly than weed.

It's Karaoke Time

In doing a little research for this piece, I came across a rash of karaoke killings back in 2009 in the Philippines, where they apparently pride themselves in their ability to sing. The song in question? Frank Sinatra’s My Way. They aren’t sure exactly how many people have been slayed singing this song off key, but their best estimate is at least six in the last decade. I also learned that Karaoke was first started by Filipinos, so it makes sense they would take it the most serious. It has gotten so bad in fact, that some Filipino karaoke businesses have actually removed “My Way”

The gentleman the article describes is 63 year old Rodolfo Gregorio, who has seen numerous fistfights and stabbings over this ancient alcohol fueled art. He used to enjoy singing the Sinatra classic, but he says shit has gotten so bad that he won’t even attempt to sing My Way anymore, because it can literally get you killed.

I believe I can FlyAccording to this article, in San Mateo, Rizal back in May of 2007, a 29 year old Filipino man was shot to death by the karaoke bar’s security guard after the guard bitched about his out of tune singing. The song in question? My Way.

In March of 2008 a man in Thailand shot eight people, including his own brother-in-law due to the out of tune singing of John Denver’s Take Me Home, Country Roads. This is the kind of shit that happens when people start getting drunk and thinking they have the pipes to be the next American Idol or some shit. Yes, your shitty singing is actually that offensive. Next time, you might just think twice before drunkenly grabbing that mic, because it could end up getting you killed.

In August 2012, while trying to celebrate the Chinese V day, two people got hacked to pieces with a meat cleaver, all because some four year old spoiled brat wouldn’t give up the mic. Now, I’ve never met the kid, and I don’t mean to call a child a brat that I’ve never met, but when you get painted as being a “little emperor” and someone hacks the shit out of a couple of people because you wanted to keep singing, I’d say you have the gene.

One does not simply sing karaoke sober
Most things related to alcohol are more deadly than weed. That’s low hanging fruit, but STONERS like low hanging fruit.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Singing to the choir so to speak. Do you know how many people have been killed for their shitty singing at a party where people choose to smoke the weed stuffs over drinking booze? None, because as we’ve seen time and time again, the only people who kill over weed are the police who are told to by those in charge. So fuck the police, fuck those in charge who keep handing down the corruption, and keep smoking, we’ll get this thing figured out sooner or later. I just hope people stop getting their lives ruined over this helpful harmless plant in the meantime.

That’s going to do it for this session of More Deadly than Weed. Thank you so much for reading. If you have any suggestions on things that are more deadly than weed, send them in and I’ll take a look. Who knows, maybe I’ll  write up your suggestion! Be sure to share and share a like if you do the Facebook thing, and post a link on Twitter to help spread the word. You can hit me up on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and Instagram.

Thanks for reading, for Stuff Stoners Like, I’m Mat Lee.

One Response to “More Deadly than Weed: Karaoke”

  1. Modlesamir

    I love weed

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