More Deadly than Weed: Neck Massagers
WRITTEN BY: Mat Lee
In today’s edition of more deadly than weed, we go to the year 2010, to what myself, and a large portion of the internet like to call, our most fucked up state. Yes, of course that state is Florida. Why is it our most fucked up state? Other than the fact that Fark has a whole Florida section dedicated to the ridiculousness that happens there, it’s a DV freak thing. If you’ve never heard of Distorted View, let me be the first to share you a link that you will thank me, and hate me for. It’s one of the first podcasts I started listening to way back in the day. And by way back in the day, I mean 2006. It’s definitely one of the most fucked up things I listen to, so keep that in mind before you listen to the podcast.
Anyway, besides all that, how do you know Florida is our most fucked up state? Because a doctor there was killed by a neck massager. That’s right. Let it sink in. A female doctor was actually using a neck massager, on her neck, and it managed to get all caught up in her necklace, and well, the rest is as they say, history. Well, it’s really her story, but now we’re just playing with semantics.
Sure this neck massager death is a freak accident, only having taken one documented life, but that’s enough for me to add it to the list of things that are more deadly than weed. I mean hell, Gizmodo published a few words on it. If this happens a few more times, I can definitely see some little crazy towns in the U.S. getting online petitions together to make neck massagers schedule 1. They clearly have no medical benefit, and they are deadly.
You could probably add necklaces to that list also, but let’s be honest, way too many people wear necklaces. People will never stop wearing them. Consider the risk of something like that dangling around your neck, just waiting for some innocent neck massager to get it all wound up around your jugular. It’ll happen. People aren’t that careful. Just watch.
That’s going to do it for this session of more deadly than weed. Be sure to share and share a like if you do the Facebook thing, and post a link on Twitter to help spread the word. You can hit me up on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and I also use Instagram. Thanks for reading, for Stuff Stoners Like, I’m Mat Lee.
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One Response to “More Deadly than Weed: Neck Massagers”
I work in a hospital, and use my shoulders and upper back ALOT. I sincerely could use a lengthy massage every. I have tried other massagers, and have found them unsatisfying. If there was a money back guarantee, I’d order one in a heartbeat. Although the price is not outrageous, I really can’t afford to spend money on something that I may get satisfaction from