Feds Intercept Weed-Filled Tombstone

This Halloween, what would be cooler than a WEED-filled tombstone? Nothing, right? Maybe a WEED-filled coffin or a skeleton bong or something, but that’s not the point. The point is…law enforcement is cracking down on weed-filled tombstones this Halloweed…er, uh…we mean, Halloween.

Yesterday, buzz-killin’ U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers at the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport happened to get lucky and find more than 50 pounds of weed shrouded in a tombstone being shipped supposedly for the grave of Delroy Senior.

A Customs official told some paper out in Kentucky that they have “seen a multitude of attempts to illegally ship items in the U.S., but never before inside of a tombstone.” Apparently shipping tombstones ain’t all that common and that’s how the brilliant agents came to realize something might be amiss. Plus the shit was en-route to England from Jamaica and probably smelled like a fucking Peter Tosh concert.

Employing a dog that’s been forced into a life of sniffing for drugs rather than chasing sticks in a park, officers became “even more suspicious when the canine was alerted as it moved closer to the tombstone.” Afterword customs dudes ran the tombstone through an x-ray machine that showed it to be nothing more than a hollow concrete shell containing 52 pounds of Jamaican-grown herb.

Oh and get this…the message on the weed tombstone, which was made of concrete but painted to look like granite, read: “Our thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill.” Obviously this message and the tombstone were meant for the pharmaceutical companies who are scared to death about the legalization of marijuana and the death of their industry. The over-the-counter culture they’ve created is dying and they’re finally realizing their toxic chemicals are what’s causing it. Plus, they realize it’s time to get the fuck outta the way because they can NOT fill the place currently held by 100% all natural, non-toxic medical marijuana when it comes to treating depression, or anxiety or nausea… Oh and make sure if and when you decide to ship your herb this fall…do so in something other than a tombstone…cops are onto that idea.

Leave a Reply