Do you have Good Weed, Bad Weed or Dank Weed?
Bad weed. Good weed. Dank weed. You can kind of think of these three terms as “good,” “better,” and “best.” Sure,”bad weed” isn’t good, but it’s better than nothing, right? And of course “good weed” is exactly that; good weed. But according to the internet (and when we mean internet, we mean Google) the most used term for the best weed is “dank weed.” That’s fine, we’ll go with that term for the purpose of this piece. So now that we’ve got all that shit out of the way, how do you know if you’re about to buy or smoke some good weed, bad weed or dank weed? We’ll break it down for ya. In case you’re asking yourself what does weed look like? Study the photos below, man. Hey…we all gotta start somewhere.
Good weed smells good—especially stuff like Grape Ape weed. There’s no way around it—take a sniff and you should be rewarded with some skunky goodness. You might also get some hints of diesel or jet fuel, maybe some citrus like lemon, grapefruit or orange. Scents like strawberry or blueberry or even grape are commonly found when sniffing a bag of good weed. You won’t notice any off-scents, nothing moldy or grassy.
Good weed also has a lot of visible crystals covering the bud. These crystals contain THC, the stuff that gets ya high, so more crystals means the more high you’ll get. Good weed obviously has a lot of these little jewels covering it. Good weed should be slightly moist and sticky to the touch, not all crumbly and dry.
Dude, we’ve seen a lot of bad weed over the years. But hey, at least it’s weed and that’s better than nothing. Bad weed usually smells like fresh cut grass or dusty old hay. It sort of looks and feels those things as well. Bad weed usually isn’t covered in crystals. Bad weed isn’t usually tight or dense. Most of the time when you buy a bag of bad weed you’ll find a ton of leaves, sticks and stems. If you’re lucky you might get some bad weed that’s comprised of the tiny little airy buds at the bottom of the plant rather than some compressed brick of scwhwag.
Bad weed isn’t necessarily imported. We’ve seen some pretty bad weed being sold at local dispensaries. The problem with bad weed is that it not only tastes terrible it takes a lot of it to do get you stoned. And if you don’t want to smoke sticks and stems it takes a ton of time to separate all that stuff from the bud—sometimes it’s not even worth the effort unless you’re really desperate.
Bad weed can also be unhealthy. Weed containing mold or bud rot, bug or other contaminants is definitely bad. Sure bugs won’t kill you and smoking them may not be as harmful as smoking mold, but who the hell wants to smoke spider mite poop? Weed that isn’t flushed well could fall into the bad weed category as well. This stuff tastes harsh and metallic and when its burned it leaves behind a thick black ash unlike good weed that’s cured and dried to perfection.
Like we said, the internet deems the best weed, dank weed. One thing we can say for sure about dank weed is that dispensaries and dealers will charge a premium for it. We’ve seen dank weed go for as much as $60 an eighth. Roll that in one of those Shine Papers made out of gold and were talking some super expensive spliffs, man.
Dank weed is the stuff you see in High Times magazine. It’s eye-candy, centerfold weed, coated in tons of sparkling crystals and smells heavenly. We could sit around and smell dank weed all day long—especially if it’s purple weed.
Everybody experiences the effects of good weed differently. So a really heavy Indica might make you sleepy as hell, but it might not have the same effect on your best friend. The only way to find out is by consuming it. But you can easily tell the differences between good weed, bad weed and dank weed just by looking at it and giving it a good old sniff. So the net time you’re ready to buy some weed spend a few minutes examining and sniffing it, you’ll be glad ya did.
How do you determine if you’re about to buy some good weed? Let us know in the comments below…