Fois gras, caviar? Uhm, no. What stoners really like to eat is cold pizza. Why? Well, for one: it’s already made and two: well, it’s already fucking made, man. To a stoner, there’s nothing better than a bong rip and then a trip, to the refrigerator–that is, to find a cold beer and their roommate’s left-over pizza.
Did we mention the true beauty of cold pizza? That you don’t have to do anything other than bite into that shit to enjoy it? No heating necessary, man! It’s kind of like that lame-ass raw food craze all those skinny bird-faced lady actors are following nowadays.
Even the most picky stoner will enjoy a slice of cold pizza. You see, as a pizza gets cold…it gets easier to pry off those 
undesirable toppings. Truly, what stoner really wants olives or pineapple or bell peppers on their pizza? But, if that’s what your pussy-whipped, roomate’s girfriend insisted on ordering last night, well then…peel off those fucking alfalfa sprouts and artichoke hearts and and have at it!
Eating left-over cold pizza is way better than dealing with the rigors of having a hot one delivered. By eating cold pizza stoners don’t even have to get up off the couch and open the door to some pimply-faced teeny bopper delivery dude. Cold pizza, well…it’s just waiting for ’em…sitting pretty in the refrigerator…on a dirty plate…all dried out…next to a Zima and what looks to be a nasty-ass science experiment. And, pizza is one of those few things that even tastes better cold than it does warm. Just ask Sting or Lisa Bonet how that raw food diet is treatin’ ’em and how that raw fucking knob of cauliflower tastes compared to a fat slice of cold pepperoni and sausage pizza. And you know what…cold pizza is safe to eat when you are stoned. Imagine the amount of risk involved with molten cheese while you are stoned. In fact, all pizza should probably be consumed cold when stoned to avoid any unnecessary injuries and maximize convenience.
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7 Responses to “Stoners Like Cold Pizza”
Baschive
Cold pizza kickass
Anonymous
MMMMM pizza!
Baschive
yeah pizza i mite go order some up rite now
Chef Kock
I actually as a part time stoner, full time chef/baker would like some potato Gnocchi with a nice Beurre noisette and fresh dill, followed by a Lobster Bisque, and then move to a nice Fois gras mouse with a black berry reduction sauce. Then for a bone in Rosemary Pork Tenderloin with Fresh Brocolini and a simple creme brulee
Sean
I usually just order one, either from dominoes or pizza hut. Its not that much effort to open the door. That way I can get exactly what I want… But what I want tends to change. Pizza Hut has that $10.00 any topping large (its really only five though) and Dominoes in this town matches their specials.
So if for whatever reason I can’t get dominoes I call pizzahut.
As for my pizza, man it varies. But the crust is always thin and crispy.
I’ve eaten.
Pineapple, bacon, tomato, black olive, mushroom.-My favorite.
Pineapple, bacon, Canadian bacon.
Peperoni,mushroom,black olive.
bacon, pineapple.
peperoni, pineapple.
Pineapple is indeed my favorite topping when I’m baked. And I love it hot.
Amos Lettman
How about lobster for valentines diner? Did you know that while various groups of crustaceans are classified as lobsters, the clawed lobsters are most often associated with the name. Clawed lobsters aren’t closely connected with spiny lobsters or even slipper lobsters, without any claws (chelae), or even squat lobsters. The nearest relatives of clawed lobsters are the reef lobsters and the three families of freshwater crayfish. Order by 2:thirty p.m. EST and savor your seafood party at your house tomorrow, seriously! Try the classic lobster combo for two. Delivered fresh anywhere in the USAHumm … http://goo.gl/eZgkz
Cannabis Seeds
I think you mean any pizza! Hot, cold, lukewarm, wet etc..