Fois gras, caviar? Uhm, no. What stoners really like to eat is cold pizza. Why? Well, for one: it’s already made and two: well, it’s already fucking made, man. To a stoner, there’s nothing better than a bong rip and then a trip, to the refrigerator–that is, to find a cold beer and their roommate’s left-over pizza.
Did we mention the true beauty of cold pizza? That you don’t have to do anything other than bite into that shit to enjoy it? No heating necessary, man! It’s kind of like that lame-ass raw food craze all those skinny bird-faced lady actors are following nowadays.
Even the most picky stoner will enjoy a slice of cold pizza. You see, as a pizza gets cold…it gets easier to pry off those undesirable toppings. Truly, what stoner really wants olives or pineapple or bell peppers on their pizza? But, if that’s what your pussy-whipped, roomate’s girfriend insisted on ordering last night, well then…peel off those fucking alfalfa sprouts and artichoke hearts and and have at it!
Eating left-over cold pizza is way better than dealing with the rigors of having a hot one delivered. By eating cold pizza stoners don’t even have to get up off the couch and open the door to some pimply-faced teeny bopper delivery dude. Cold pizza, well…it’s just waiting for ’em…sitting pretty in the refrigerator…on a dirty plate…all dried out…next to a Zima and what looks to be a nasty-ass science experiment. And, pizza is one of those few things that even tastes better cold than it does warm. Just ask Sting or Lisa Bonet how that raw food diet is treatin’ ’em and how that raw fucking knob of cauliflower tastes compared to a fat slice of cold pepperoni and sausage pizza. And you know what…cold pizza is safe to eat when you are stoned. Imagine the amount of risk involved with molten cheese while you are stoned. In fact, all pizza should probably be consumed cold when stoned to avoid any unnecessary injuries and maximize convenience.
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