STONERS Like Rolling Trays
Like weed, a lighter, and good music, a rolling tray is essential to any true stoner’s collection. Now we’re not talking about any ol’ flat object you use to bust-up your weed on, like a speeding ticket, a gatefold copy of Framton Comes Alive!, or the back of your dirty couch. We’re talking about something a li’l more sturdy and purposeful…like something you’d see on Willie Nelson’s tour bus. Something used for the sole purpose of rolling joints.
Obviously, Willie’s not all tryin’ to spill his weed all over the place during his travels, so he employs a rolling tray and so should you. Best place to get a rolling tray? Oh the cafeteria. Sizzler’s has nice ones. Denny’s has them, but the waitresses don’t always leave ‘em on your table. Sometimes hotel rooms have nice ones sitting on top of the counter in the bathroom beneath the coffee pot. So, uhm, yeah…rolling trays are all over the place. Just look for them and they’ll reveal themselves to you.
What you’re looking for, when it comes to size…is something about the size of a 13” macbook and completely smooth…you’re not trying to have all your weed hiding in those nooks and crannies and shit. That’s why English muffins make such shitty rolling trays.
Never put hot shit on the rolling tray. Sure, you scooped all that resin out of your pipe with a hot bobby pin and you’ve got no place to put down that hot, nasty, goopy, bobby pin…and the rolling tray is right there. But don’t do it, man! You know what happens? It burns that shit and then weed gets all caught up in that burn mark or you’re using the flap on the zig zap papers to push your weed into a pile, the flap hits that burn mark and flicks all your weed right off the tray and onto the garage floor. So don’t put hot shit on the rolling tray, this includes lit joints, dude. Oh and don’t put any joints that just went out on that rolling tray either, man. You don’t want tiny li’l bits of burnt weed all mixin’ ‘round with your fresh weed, do ya? Don’t cash your bowl out on it, etc.
Okay, etiquette seems best left for prissy assholes to dish out…so basically, only put shit on your tray that won’t fuck up your weed or your roll. Don’t go using something that’s gonna scratch your tray all up, you’re not DJ Qbert…don’t go gouging that shit all up with keys while your trying to collect your weed into a nice li’l pile. Stickers go on the bottom of the rolling tray so as to keep that shit nice and smooth.
Okay, you got the idea…now go and find yourself a nice tray and roll yourself some nice joints to smoke.
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