Wanna get laid? Of course you do— it’s Valentine’s Day! And the best way to ensure sex on the 14th of February is a thoughtful Valentine’s Day gift. Thankfully we’ve done all the thinking for you. Here are the top 5 Valentine’s Day gifts for stoners. You’re welcome.
5. Weed. Of course all stoners love weed. And giving weed on any day especially Valentine’s Day will most likely be received well. However, if you want to take Valentine’s Day to a whole new level and really impress that special person combine marijuana with a planned event. Just don’t give your girl an 1/8 in a Ziploc baggy and expect to get laid. Take your favorite stoner out to dinner or create a scene in your favorite place; light candles, put on music, clean and prep the bong. Make it special.
4. Boots. I think it is safe to say all stoner girls (and maybe a few stoner boys) like boots. I’m not talking Louboutin’s stilettos that are designed for torture, but cool, comfortable, rock star boots. If you are at a loss for what kind of boot, look in your valentine’s closet and get the same pair of something in a different color…like green or purple or super silver haze. And, make sure to use Zappos so them boots arrive quick and returns are easy. Stoners like quick and easy.
3. Paraphernalia. Tools are always a good go-to when you’re too stoned to think of a gift. Score a new vape pen, glass pipe, oil rig or maybe a stash box. But be careful in presentation. Just don’t give your Valentine a pipe in a bag wrapped in bubble wrap. You gotta go the distance on Valentine’s Day….if you don’t wanna spend the night on the couch—buy a pipe and make sure to pack a really nice bowl, put flowers around it, draw a hot bath, light some candles and create moment to be remembered. Sounds corny, but it works. Trust me, I’m a girl.
2. A Letter. If you really want to touch the heart of the one you love and guarantee sex on Valentine’s Day night write your feelings down. Expose your most inner thoughts and describe in detail how your special stoner makes your world right. If writing isn’t your thing just sit down in a quiet space, get stoned and think about the one you love. Let the thoughts bubble up, put them down on paper and just remember WE all want to feel loved in this life.
1. Weed. It deserves to be said again….stoners love weed! However, you gotta do it right if you are looking for sex. See number #5 and don’t make the stoner mistake of smoking the majority of the weed and lapsing on the presentation.
BONUS VALENTINE GIFT
Candy. And lots of it. Preferably chocolate.
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