Does cranberry juice clean your system
Does cranberry juice clean your system? This is what someone asked us recently. This person not only lives in a state where marijuana is legal, we’re talking about California, she has a medical marijuana card. She also has a job offer. It’s her dream job—in San Francisco, in a big high-rise working in a large marketing department in an architectural firm that apparently does a lot of not-for-profit work and works with the federal government. Because of this she’s worried that she’ll be drug tested and her hopes of getting that dream job will go up in smoke simply because she likes to smoke weed, legally—in a state that permits it by law.
Our buddy is also a huge stoner. She’s been smoking weed for years on a daily basis. So she asks us the other day does cranberry juice clean your system? We immediately knew that if she was thinking about a cranberry detox program that she had a drug test coming up. That’s how we heard about the dream job. Anyhow after telling her how much we think drug tests are a violation of privacy and that she should use fake pee she returns to the same question does cranberry juice clean your system enough to pass a urine test?
Seriously though clean urine from a friend is the way to go we tell her. If you can’t’ get that there’s always fake pee—It’s easy to score, easy to use and as long as it’s warm your going to pass for sure. Plus lots of people are using nowadays. KSFY and ABC news affiliate says that synthetic urine being used to pass drug screenings on the rise (because it works, dude) But she insists on the cranberry juice detox. So here’s what we told her.
Is cranberry juice good for drug test
So is cranberry juice good for helping beat a drug test? Sure. But a better question is rather does cranberry juice clean your system enough to pass a urine drug test? Yes and no. First of all let’s quickly talk about what drug testers are looking for in your urine. They’re not actually looking for THC in your pee (hey that rhymes).
What they’re looking for are called metabolites or chemicals created by your body after you smoke, vape or eat pot. Now your body stores those metabolites in fat. As anyone he’s tried to diet or exercise to lose weight fat takes time to eliminate. So that’s why marijuana metabolites take up to a month or more to burn off. So when it comes to passing a piss test stoners are at a disadvantage compared to users of other drugs which aren’t stored in fat and burn off rather quickly.
Suffice to say time is your friend. Actually time spent not smoking weed is your friend. The longer you can hold off taking that drug test and not smoking weed the better your chances are of passing that test.
We want to quickly note that masking your pee isn’t going to work. We don’t recommend it, man. There are urban legends floating around that say you can put a little laundry detergent under your fingernail and piss on your finger and that’ll throw off the test and somehow make you pass. Some say you can add bleach or eye drops as well. Adulterants are never going to help you pass a piss test. They just tip off the tester that your sample is suspect.
Because you’re basically in a situation where you want everything to appear normal. Testers are just going to quickly screen your pee to make sure it’s got creatine in it and it’s the right temperature. Creatine and urea the types of things that are found in human piss are also contained in fake urine. So you’re fine if you use it. Just make sure your fake urine is warm—cold pee is a dead giveaway that you cheated. Your body doesn’t produce cold pee. So don’t be that person who fails because they handed in some cold piss.
Dilution may work
Wait did we ever address the urban legend? So does cranberry juice clean your system enough to help you pass a drug test. Well the cool thing is that there’s a shred of truth to most urban legends. Cranberry juice does help. It’s part of the dilution process. It is possible to dilute your urine just enough so that your sample passes. (it takes time, however, see below) As long as you can dilute your urine enough so that the marijuana metabolites drug testers are looking for are below 50 ng./ml you’ll pass.
So cranberry juice is what’s known as a diuretic. According to your 7th grade teacher A diuretic is any substance that promotes diuresis, that is, the increased production of urine. So it basically makes your pee a lot. Does cranberry juice clean your system? Of course it does. How much cranberry juice to detox. Well let’s just first answer; does cranberry juice clean your system enough to pass a drug test on its own? Can cranberry juice detox THC like just melt it right out of your fat cells or something? Of course not. So it doesn’t really matter how much you drink. It’s not going to clean your your system of THC enough to just pass a drug test, unfortunately.
Basically it has some detoxing and cleansing properties but when it comes to using it to pass a drug test the way to use it is to promote peeing which will help promote the release of toxins in your body—aka the stuff drug testers are looking for. Cranberry juice doesn’t contain some special ingredient that will automagically cleanse your system clean of THC. Cranberry juice might be good for things like preventing kidney stones, scurvy and tooth decay but it alone is not going to cleanse your system enough where you’re going to pass a weed drug test.
So now after writing and researching all this shit—when people ask does cranberry juice clean your system we say yes—enough for a drug test—no. Anyhow. What’s most important is how it’s used. And that application is the dilution technique.
Of course drug testers are looking for the dilution technique. So your piss just can’t look like tap water and it needs to contain creatine. There are pills that will turn your piss yellowish and pills to increase your creatinine levels. Timing is everything. So we’ll break everything down for you below.
However we’re going to warn you that the dilution method is risky, man and it takes times. Most likely at least three days. (see below for step-by-step-instructions) If you don’t smoke much weed at all then you probably don’t have much THC in your fat cells and chances are you might pass without even trying.
One good way to know for sure it to get yourself a home drug test kit, pee on it and determine if you’ll pass or not. You could also try out our dilution method below and then test yourself to see if you’ll pass your drug test or not. It’s always a good idea to practice like this. Following our directions below and then testing yourself at home could give you that extra confidence you need to pass your test. Anyhow if you’re a heavy smoker than chances are less in your favor. It all really depends on how much time has passed between your last joint as to how much THC is in your fat cells. So that’s why we always recommend using synthetic urine if you can.
If you have a supervised or a semi-supervised test you might consider using the Whizzinator. This is a realistic looking plastic penis that squirts out synthetic pee. They also have a female Whizzinator for the ladies.
Most of the time drug test labs just station someone at the door to listen for anything suspicious. You know sounds like you popping open a plastic container of fake pee. Or maybe you dropping a metal lid to a mason jar of your brother’s pee. Or maybe you don’t make any splashy sounds at all? So don’t forget to actually pee in the toilet. The testers are going to look to see if you did. Don’t worry they don’t actually go in the toilet and check your pee. That’s gross and unsanitary and making someone do that is about as bad as making someone piss in a cup just to get a fucking job. But we digress.
Oh wait. Just so you know—if you do use pee from someone of the opposite sex you’ll be fine. Drug testers aren’t looking for gender. That type of screen is costly and you’ll have to give them a reason for it. So if you use clean human pee you’re good to go no matter what gender produced it.
However there are times when you can’t substitute your pee. In these situations a detox pill and or the dilution method could work. Sometimes you just have to weigh your options, determine what’s going to happen if you don’t take action and then take some action.
Dilution method step-by-step
- Score creatine. Get yourself some creatine pills from Amazon or the drug store or whatever. And start taking them. You might need to do this at least two to three days prior to your test. You’re going to need to build up your levels because you’re going to be diluting the shit out of them by drinking a lot of water and something natural that’ll help flush out your system. If you don’t have the time you might want to go the fake pee route or maybe take a 24-hour cleanse pill. Or maybe hop on a plane to Mexico and start bar tending? Whatever. Also don’t take more than recommended amount of creatine either. Read and follow the instructions. You’re not trying to kill yourself you’re just trying to pass a drug test
- Get detoxing. Cranberry juice could be a good choice. Get the pure stuff like 100% Cranberry Juice Concentrate You could also try lemon juice and water. You could drink some detox drinks, maybe a cranberry detox drink or find a detox tea recipe. Basically you want to find whatever you can that’ll help detox your body.
- Get drinking. Now comes the dilution part. You’re going to drink a quart of water about an hour before your test. Don’t over do it. Again your trying to pass a drug test not kill yourself so be careful. But first take some B vitamins to make sure your pee is actually yellow. You can score this stuff at any grocery store or get some vitamin B Amazon.com if you have time. All you need is 50 to 100 mg of something like vitamin B2 or B12 or B-complex. Also pee a few times before you get to the test place. Oh and make sure to take your sample midstream. First pee in the toilet and then piss in the cup for a bit and then back in the toilet.
So there you have it. Cranberry juice alone isn’t going to cut it. But if you couple it with the dilution method now you’re on to something. Follow our directions above and you should be good. For further reading you might also want to check out our posts How to Pass a Drug Test for Marijuana, Does Synthetic Urine Work To Pass A Urine Drug Test? Or maybe just find a different gig? Here are 25 Jobs That Don’t Drug Test.
Have any cranberry juice drug test tips you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments section below.
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