How to pass a piss drug test quickly
Want to know how to pass a piss test fast? That’s probably because you’ve found your dream job and it require a piss test, right? Now we’re not advocating breaking laws or anything. But we definitely want to point out that drug testing is not only causing unemployment problems for people who are perfectly capable of doing great jobs it’s also causing hardships for employers. So it’s no surprise that people are always asking how to pass a piss test in 24 hours or how to pass a piss test in a day because they’re using marijuana to treat a condition or to relax and that has nothing to do with their work capabilities. Anyhow we need to get some shit off our chest before we dive into the different ways to pass a piss test.
In a recent post titled Economy Needs Workers, but Drug Tests Take a Toll the New York Times quoted a woman named Regina Mitchell. She’s the a co-owner of Warren Fabricating & Machining in Hubbard, Ohio. This is ground zero for the opioid crisis. The decimation caused by opioids is so bad in Ohio that the state is suing the culprit—the pharmaceutical companies. Despite clinical evidence proving that marijuana is the solution to the opioid crisis ignorant employers like Mitchell are still discriminating against medical and recreational marijuana users—even if they smoked days prior to their test.
“I don’t know if you smoked it this weekend or this morning,” Ms. Mitchell said. “I can’t take that chance.” Mitchell also said that half of all applicants fail because of marijuana use. They don’t fail because they’re stoned—just because they used marijuana in the past.
The piss test is the most commonly administered drug test in America because it’s cheap, but it doesn’t show impairment. All a piss test shows is that someone smoked weed at some point within the last month or so. To use a piss test as job screen makes no sense? Unless that screen is to weed out weed users.
This isn’t just an Ohio problem. According to the NY Post the biggest employers across the nation face similar challenges seeking employees that can pass a piss test despite the national unemployment rate being at 4.4 percent currently— down from 8.2 percent five years ago. Anyhow keeping someone from work because they may have smoked a joint within the month is ludicrous.
Enough with our rambling and hatred of drug testing and stoner discrimination. We’re here to explain how to pass a piss test fast. Let’s begin by explaining what these piss tests are looking for. Drug tests including the piss test look for weed first and foremost. Piss tests also look for amphetamines, were talking speed, meth, crank, ecstasy. They check for cocaine and opiate use. This includes drugs like heroin, morphine, opium, codeine. Piss tests also look for phencyclidine aka PCP.
What sucks is that of all the substances we listed above marijuana will stay in your system the longest amount of time. If you’re a heavy smoker you can expect marijuana to stick in your fat cells for a month or more. We’ve even heard of people who have had to wait more than three months before marijuana completely left their system naturally. So for those serious stoners that need to know how to pass a piss test we recommend substituting your tainted pee.
Of course there are ways to speed up the marijuana detox process. We’ll talk about this more as we get into how to pass a piss. But the point is that weed stays in your system for such a long time that testing for it with a piss test to show impairment is futile. It doesn’t show impairment. So not hiring someone because they test positive for weed at some point within the last few weeks is completely discriminatory and plain wrong. Employers aren’t screening for alcoholics. So why are they screening for stoners—especially since marijuana is 114% safer than alcohol.
So like we said weed stays in your system for a really long time. So if you want to know how to pass a piss test easily—just stop smoking weed and wait a month. If you’re a serious stoner and want to how to pass a piss test right away. Keep reading.
If you’re not a regular smoker we suggest scoring a home drug test kits from Amazon and testing to see if you’ll pass before you take your test. No point in all this studying how to pass a piss test if you know you’ll pass, right? If you’re a regular smoker well then you could just assume you’ve got a lot of pot stored up in your body. You might want to score a home drug test kit to test yourself after you’ve followed the steps below. Why? Well there’s nothing like walking into the drug test facility with the confidence of knowing that you’ll pass. Confidence is key to passing any test—even drug tests.
Okay so you’ve basically got two options to pass a piss test quickly. They are smuggling or a marijuana detox. Since we mentioned detoxing above and the fact that marijuana sticks around for seemingly ever let’s start there. Because you want to know how to pass a piss test fast we’re assuming you don’t have time to wait for marijuana to exit your system naturally. Sure you can expedite the process by exercising and eating right but in the end you’ll definitely need to take something to help clean your system temporarily. Now do you want to drink it or swallow it?
Pop a pill
Okay so here’s how to pass a piss test quickly using some over-the-counter solution. There are products—detox pills and drinks— that work in a matter of minutes or take a few days to kick in. It basically comes down to whether or not you like popping pills or drinking drinks. Either way they’re both equally as effective. If detox pills are your thing well then we recommend the super fast-acting detox pill from PassYourTest. (FOLLOW THE LINK) We know these guys and have lots of comments on our site testifying that their pill works. These little pills will completely rid your body of marijuana metabolites in 90 minutes. They will temporarily clean out your system or at least make it appear to the drug test lab that your system is clean and do so far an entire six hours.
These pills are a good idea to keep on hand if you might be subject to a random drug test. Keep one in your desk, purse, pocket, stash box, wherever. Pop that pill and you’ll be good to go in an hour and a half. Just make sure to time everything right and you’re good. Test yourself with a home drug test kit from Amazon to see if your pill’s working if you’ve got enough time. Like we said above it’s always great to have that confidence knowing that your method is working.
Down a Drink
Some people hate to pop pills. Here’s how to pass a piss test without ‘em—go with a detox drink. There are several detox drinks on the market. They all basically work in the same way—temporarily flush your system of marijuana metabolites or make it appear as such to the test lab. They work in a matter of minutes some have longer activation times than others so make sure to read and follow the directions carefully. Again we should stress this one more time make sure to read and follow directions. One of the main reasons people fail their drug test is because they didn’t follow the directions of what they were using to help them pass. So don’t be that person.
The drinks that we recommend to use to pass your piss test are Qcarbo32, Ready Clean or Stinger Total Detox. They’re readily available on Amazon and you can follow those links to read the comments left by our readers or read more about them. In fact reading comments under our reviews of drug testing stuff is one of the best ways to determine whether or not a product really works or if it will work for you. Sure you can take our word for it, but why not take the word of many others who are backing it up, right? Anyhow drink one of these like it’s PowerAde and you’ll be ready to pass your piss test in a matter of minutes. These things will also last between six and eight hours to give you enough time.
We also recommend the one shot concentrate by Test Negative if you’re not trying to drink a ton of liquid. It’s highly effective and comes with a 200 percent money back guarantee. What about super stoners? Well don’t feel left out here’s how to pass a piss drug test really quick: use Rescue Cleanse 32oz. It works in an hour and is the strongest drink on the market. It also comes with a 200% money back guarantee. The same guys who sell this stuff also sell our favorite synthetic urine brand, SubSolution. Which brings us to our recommended method for passing a piss test—smuggling. But before then we’ll leave you with a few piss test taking tips if you decide to go the temporary flush route.
Piss test tips for the temporary flush method:
- The number one step when it comes to how to pass a piss test is to stop smoking weed. It pains us terribly to say it but you’ll have to stop smoking weed if you’re going to go the temporary cleanse route. Smoking weed while trying to cleanse your body of weed is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. So you’ll have to give up weed if you want to pass that piss test make sure to drink a lot of water. The goal here is to expel as much stored-up marijuana as possible so chug, chug, chug. But not too much. Unlike marijuana you can overdose on water so be careful.
- Drink a diuretic. You know things like coffee or cranberry juice will cause you to urinate more frequently. Peeing is a good thing. The more you pee the less weed you have in you. Plus cranberry juice has a bit of detoxing properties. You could also go with something like Palo Azul tea too.
- Never use your first piss in the morning for your sample. During the night all those stored marijuana metabolites build up. So they’ll be in a higher concentration in the am. Make sure to pee a bunch of times before you take your test.
- Make sure to always use midstream pee. Same rule as above applies here. Marijuana metabolites build up and they do so from the outside inward. So don’t use the first bit of pee that comes out. Pee in the toilet then pee in the cup.
Smuggle clean pee
When it comes to passing a piss test nothing works like synthetic urine. When anyone asks us how to pass a piss test we automatically recommend fake piss. That’s how to pass a piss test every time, man. Fake pee is the stuff that laboratories use to calibrate their equipment. You didn’t think they actually used their own piss to test the accuracy of these machines did you? As long as you use a quality fake urine you’ll be good.
One thing to make sure to do is check the expiration date. We’ve heard a lot of bad things about expired Quick Fix urine being sold on Amazon and eBay or an online headshop. So check the expiration date and actually check to make sure the product isn’t counterfeit. Believe it or not fake piss is so popular that people make fake fake piss all the time. So just be away as you make your purchases that’s all.
PRO TIP 2—Pour fake urine in a condom, smuggle in your underwear—that’s the best way to pass a piss test.
Make sure that the artificial urine you use contains uric acid and always make sure to hand over a warm sample. That’s one of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to using fake pee—it’s too cold. So always make sure that your urine sample is around 97 to 99 degrees before you hand it over. You can keep your sample warm by using a heating pad. Or just use a product like SubSolution that contains a heating powder that’ll warm the urine near instantly and keep it at the perfect temperature long enough for you to deliver your sample. Make sure to follow the directions carefully.
One other reason we dig SubSolution is that it’s premixed. You wouldn’t think that mixing powder and water would be that difficult but many people walk into the test place with powdered pee then realize that the bathroom where they need to deposit their sample has no water and ultimately flunk their test. So don’t do that, dude.
One easy way to smuggle your urine is to pour it into a condom and store it in your underwear. Be careful not to break it. You might want to practice walking around with the thing in your drawers. Trying using it in a bathroom and pouring it into a party cup or something for practice. Practice makes perfect, man. This is a test you don’t want to fail.
If you have a supervised test meaning someone is going to watch your pee and you don’t want to go the pill or drink route then we recommend the Whizzinator. WTF is a Whizzinator? Why it’s a realistic -looking, hollow, fake dick that comes in a multitude a of flesh colors that’s used to store and expel urine. They also make a female Whizzinator. It also comes with a chest strap and a long pouch to contain the urine. Simply place a heating pad on the pouch and the urine will stay warm for hours. The chest strap also makes smuggling a breeze. Does it work? Yeah it worked so well that the owner of the company was targeted by the government, was sued and eventually went to jail. Nowadays the thing is marketed as a novelty sex toy—but we all know that it’s still being used to pass a drug test.
If you choose to use fake pee don’t forget to actually urinate in the toilet. The test takers are going to look to see if you did so don’t disappoint them. Don’t worry they’re not going to test the urine in the toilet. That would be gross and illegal. They can only use the sample you’ve given them. Also don’t leave behind any empty vials or bottles that you used to carry your piss. Don’t leave behind any heating pads or temperature strips or any other obvious signs of cheating.
Also be aware that there will most likely be someone standing outside the door listening. So as you take your piss test be sure not to drop any test tubes or scissors or anything that would sound suspicious. Don’t give them a reason to think that you cheated and they won’t think that you cheated. So you might want to practice with your fake pee at home before the day of your test. Maybe also test it with a home drug test kit from Amazon. Never can be too sure, right? Anyhow good luck on your test. Let us know how it turns out. For more information check out our post: How to Pass a Drug Test for Marijuana.
Have any tips or tricks on how to pass a piss test quickly or how to pass a piss test using pills, drinks or fake piss? Leave ‘em for us in the comments section below.
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