5 PRETTY OBVIOUS WARNING SIGNS YOUR MOM IS A STONER
1. If you awake in the morning to empty wrappers of Oreo’s lying on the floor in front of the family couch, chances are your mom is a stoner, got stoned and fell victim to the munchies while watching TV. She ate anything and everything in the house and you will be buying lunch today.
2. If you see your mom exit from the bathroom, the window is open, toilet just flushed and it smells like she lit a skunk on fire. Chances are there isn’t a flaming skunk under your house, no matter what your mother tells you. Truth is your mom is a stoner and she just hit a pipe that was hiding behind the toilet paper next to the enviro friendly air freshener…that apparently works like shit.
3. If you hear some reggae coming from your mom’s iPhone chances are she is a stoner. Sure, it’s obvious and somewhat prejudiced to assume all reggae fans enjoy the herb. Nevertheless, it’s fucking true and you know it. And so does your mom.
4. If you see your mom with what looks like a “pen” attached to her face and she has similar “pens” charging in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, family room, hallway, etc.…then chances are your mom is a stoner and you should give her a big hug. Parenting isn’t easy and all parents could use a little herb to help gain some perspective.
5. If your mom will choke a bitch like Wayne Brady if anybody deletes even one Dave Chappelle episode from the DVR then chances are she’s a stoner (and probably a really big Dave Chappelle fan.)
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