Canadian Cops Seize More than 7 Tons of Hash

We read the news today oh boy…
About 7 tons of hash that made the grave…
And though the news was rather sad…
we ain’t going to laugh about it or blow our minds our in a car or anything, but we’re purty fucking heart-broken that 7 tons of hashish, most likely from Pakistan…the OG home of hash, is pro’lly going  in the TRASH, man.

So those Canadian nutcracker-lookin’ dudes called Mounties or the RHCP or…whatever, apparently seized a container packed with enough hash to get all of Canada STONED! Yep, it only takes 7 tons to stone all of Canada, but that’s not the point. The point is someone ABANDONED a dream stash of hash in a  trailer in a place called LaSalle somewhere in Montreal where locals scarf down this cheese curd French fry shit called poutine and expect all their hockey players to speak French. Losing that much hash is surely waaaay more of a crime than possessing that much hash…at least to these STONERS.

Anyhow, imagine just how much herb it must take to produce seven tons of hash? You know what hash is right? Okay…well you know what Kief is then, right? No, no…you’re thinking of KeefCaptain Jack Sparrow’s dad…you know the guitarist of the Rolling Stones…nevermind.  You know those breathtakingly beautiful tingly li’l crystals that cover herb? Well, collect those crystals, called Kief…mash them all together and you’ve got hash; pure smoking bliss. Just look at Keef over there on the right there…all double fistin’ the hash shit…that’s bliss over there, man.

“It’s a big one,” said RCMP spokesman Cpl. Luc Thibault. “That’s what she said,” said Michael Scott of Dunder Mifflin about the tons of confiscated hash that the RCMP claim…is a “resin-like paste derived from cannabis leaves, seeds and stems.”

Wha? You can make hash from that shit? And, to think all this time we’ve been making marijuana plants out of our seeds and composting the leaves and stems…since they contain just about NO PSYCHOACTIVE THC. Either you Royal Mounted Police guys know something us STONERS don’t or you’re completely fucking clueless and don’t deserve 7-tons of hash, man! C’mon, dudes…you don’t even know how to smoke hash…let alone what it is. Why don’t you just give that hash to someone who’d appreciate it? Here’s our address: P.O. Box 71142…Oakland CA 94612

2 Responses to “Canadian Cops Seize More than 7 Tons of Hash”

  1. Tony

    It’s only the French canadians that would do that man. The rest of us are normal.

  2. Behind Kink

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