First Time Smoking Weed? Here’s Some Sage Stoner Advice

smoking weed for the first timeFirst time smoking weed?

Let me guess? It’s your first time smoking weed. And you’re so scared that you’ll look like a fool you might actually give yourself a panic attack. All that and you haven’t even smoked it yet? Sit down young grasshopper. Take a few deep, calming breaths. Now let’s learn you a thing or two about what to expect during your first time smoking weed.

Weed 101: Weed for beginners

The first thing you should know, if you don’t already, is that everything you’ve read in the news or heard in the media that tries to demonize cannabis, is based on lies. It’s called propaganda. Aside from bullshit and fat cats it’s the U.S. government’s third most manufactured product. They use this to make people think a certain way about something. I believe it also goes by the term Psyops. This is by design.

Why so much hate? Getting stoned is great!

A long long time ago certain figures got together and decided they would use this plant as a tool of racism. They also included control, greed and corrupt political agenda pushing. This was passed down from dick to asshole over the decades leaving a wake of unnecessary tragedy and emotional turmoil for those on the wrong side of the law. A law that should have never been allowed on the books in the first place. A law that perpetuates hate and segregation under the guise of keeping citizens safe.

It completely fucking sucks to say this. But if I would have been born African American rather than the mixed Sicilian Spanish white mutt I am and did all the same things I’ve allegedly done chances are higher that I would have been put down by the power tripping, ego crazed law by now. It’s shitty. But that’s the reality of the simulation we’re all participating in right now. A lot of that nonsense has its roots deeply embedded in the early days of this whole ridiculous plant prohibition. It’s left a permanent scar on humanity.

first time smoking weedBeing scared v being high

Fear and greed kept the people in check, while stories of reefer madness and drug crazed lunacy polluted the airwaves. Over time, a weird sort of fear was instilled in the people. This unknown plant had the power to rape and murder women and children and turn people into crazed sex maniacs. Of course those who enjoying cannabis for how it made them feel, and for the health benefits it brought to their endocannabinoid systems, knew the truth.

But that didn’t matter. The war on drugs was in full swing and there wasn’t anything anyone could do to stop it. I know, it’s definitely stuff stoners don’t like, and not one of my favorite high stories to recount. And I’m not trying to ruing your first time smoking weed. But it is what it is, and that’s what we are all left to work with. All we can do is get educated, pick up the pieces as best as we can, toss out the junk, and rebuild with what’s left.

Fast forward to this freedom brandishing, progressive modern age we’re all so fortunate enough to live in. And we’re still dealing with the fallout of this bullshit war on drugs. But as much as it sucks to settl, we currently have several states enjoying the taste of legal, recreational or medicinal cannabis.

As someone who has frequented a lot of new cannabis store, it always makes me smile when I see people who have never smoked weed before asking questions about it. Especially when they are getting well informed answers that further their higher education. That’s a good thing. People learn by asking questions. To see the spark of curiosity in someone’s eye as they are firing these questions to the budtender is quite refreshing to witness.

how do you smoke weedWhat’s the best way to smoke weed?

This is a great question I always hear quite a bit. A human smoking weed for the first time needs to know quite a few things in order to have an enjoyable time being high. The marijuana high, as relaxing and mellow as it can be, also has a more anxious side to it. This is going to depend entirely on your own personal endocannabinoid system. Also how your body reacts to the different terpene and cannabinoid profiles. Not to mention whatever else might be in the weed your smoking.

This is always going to be a personal preference thing, as everyone smokes for different reasons, and in different set and settings. For those in states where it’s not exactly ok to be a pot smoker, I would recommend a more low key solution like a portable vaporizer or oil cartridge pen. Of course, if you live in a state that isn’t very cool with the weed stuff, you may not necessarily have access to oil and cartridges. But no matter which of the 49 great states (sorry Idaho, you’re still on notice), one might find themselves in, there’s always going to be a weed hook up. Which is definitely an important thing to take into consideration when shelling out the hard earned Benji’s on some new vape tech.

Smoking marijuana is stuff stoners like

There’s simply no substitute for marijuana smoking. But how? There are so many ways to get your marijuana high going. The joint is always a crowd favorite and if I had to say. It’s probably the easiest way to smoke weed. Can’t roll one? That’s totally cool man, there’s machines that will twist that shit up for you. If you don’t have a roller with you, chances are, whoever you are smoking with will either know how to roll one up. Or have a machine, or at least an Amazon account to order a rolling machine, at the ready. Or check out our post on how to roll a joint.

A cool glass pipe or chillum is always nice for sitting around on the couch and playing some video games or watching a movie. Glass bongs are also a popular choice, especially if you want to throw some water into the mix. A nice glass flask, more inaptly called the beaker bong, with a well designed perc that chugs the bubbles around the bottom of the glass in a symphony of sensi smokey water cooled bubbles is also hard to beat. Just make sure you know what sort of glass you are getting before you spend the money. If you don’t know, find someone like me who can help guide you down the right path of glass goodness.

Dabs are always good once you get your endocannabinoid system more accustomed to higher doses of cannabinoids at one time. You should definitely work your way up to dabs at some point. And experience what the terps can do for you. Once you dab, you’ll never go back. That’s not actually true. I smoke flower, tobacco and dabs on the daily. I’m a man who appreciates variety.

first time smoking weed 2Getting high for the first time

It’s not like you are preparing for a trip to Mars or anything, although it might seem that way once you get the bud burners fired up. The important thing to remember while getting stoned, especially if it’s your first time smoking weed, is that you should be smoking marijuana in a safe and comfortable environment. Knowing where to smoke, at least until you understand how you react to different strains of cannabis, is a key ingredient in the recipe of good experiences getting stoned, that will one day turn into great high stories to share with friends and family.

Remember, there are different levels of high, and different states of being high. The marijuana high is a beautiful thing. If you want the key to how to have a good high, it’s right there. Be cool, be zen, and be around people who are of the same cloth. If you still don’t have a good time, or get too high on weed, then weed not be for you. Either that or you just need more practice.

First time smoking weed tips

If things get too shaky for you, treat it like a therapy session, on weed man. If you get too high on weed, just sit back, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and remember, it’s a happy plant. Cannabis wants to help you, and it wants to make you happy. It’s not evil soul stealing devil plant of death we’ve been lead to believe. As a matter of fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

It can definitely help to have someone who is wise in the ways of plant teachers. They say the best guide is the one who doesn’t know or want to be, and always be wary of the self proclaimed shaman. I can explain and write about how to smoke weed all day, but nothing makes up for good old fashioned hands on learning. Especially if you can get yourself schooled by someone who has been living the life. Now let’s go over some of the other first time smoking weed questions we get here at SSL.

How high can you get?

That certainly depends on the quality of cannabis you start with, the form it’s in, and how you decide to take it. As I said before, this experience is fairly subjective and yours may vary. For me personally, edibles give me the most marijuana high. It’s like taking all the heady body high weed you can, and smoking the world’s biggest joint to your dome. On weed!

For real though, how much weed does it take to get high? Or more importantly, how long does it take to get high off weed? It’s always hard to say how much weed will get you high, as the levels of cannabinoids and terpenes vary batch to batch, and a lot of states still don’t let you test weed. Because you know, it’s a schedule one substance still. If you want to play it safe, and I think that’s always the best bet when it comes to experimenting with plant teachers for the first time. Just be sure to give the weed enough time to do it’s thing. You don’t want to be left freaking out because you got higher than your mind could handle at the time.

How many hits does it take to get high?

Take up to three hits, but make sure you give it some time in between each hit of weed to feel and experience the level it’s taking you to. If you feel like that’s a good spot to be, then set the bowl down and enjoy it.

My main go to as far as keeping myself heavily medicated on the daily, is a mixture of dabs and weed. This definitely isn’t any type of weed for beginners shit here, and I am a professional, so make sure to keep that in mind when you try to keep up. There’s no shame in knowing when you’ve had enough cannabis. Especially if you are doing the first time smoking thing. Take it slow and work your way up.

best way to smoke weedHow long does weed make you high?

That of course will depend on how much of the essential stuff you manage to get into your system. I would say on average, between one to three hours. If you find yourself a little too high on weed, you can always try to eat something. I don’t know why, but that seems to be a grounding enough thing to keep someone from freaking out. But again, and I can’t stress this enough. If you take the care and time to setup your first time smoking weed properly, you shouldn’t have any issues.

Do you get high the first time you smoke weed?

I would have to say that for the majority of people, they probably don’t. That’s not through any fault of their own, they just probably got sold some bullshit by someone who knew the first timer wouldn’t know any better. I’m pretty sure that’s where the whole “you don’t get high your first time” myth started. Then again, I’m high, and I could be wrong. But I’m pretty certain if you didn’t get high the first time you smoked weed, then you didn’t smoke weed.

What to smoke weed out of when you have nothing

I would hope that there’s at least some rolling papers sitting around somewhere. But let’s say that’s not an option for whatever reason. You can turn pretty much anything that won’t catch on fire when you try to light the bowl. People have used everything from oranges to apples, to even soda cans. That’s what to smoke weed out of when you have nothing. Although I don’t recommend the soda can method.

How to smoke marijuana properly

I’m obviously not going to write you an SOP for how to smoke marijuana, but there are some questions in this regard that I would like to address. For one, people are always trying to find out how to properly inhale weed, or how long to hold the weed smoke in. These are all things that fall under the how do you smoke weed category.

If you want to learn how to inhale weed properly, all you need to do is remember this. It might tickle, burn, or make you sneeze if you inhale or exhale through your nose, and as popular as it seems to be becoming on the internet. I’m not a huge fan of nose dabs or nose smoking. I feel like you aren’t going to get any higher, and if you need to resort to that, you should probably just go find some better drugs to do. But of course, that’s just me. And I’m sure I’ll get a whole bunch of hate from the nose dabbing community over it.

How long do you hold that shit in for? I would say no more than 8 seconds is probably sufficient. Any more than that, unless you are really trying to ration your stash, probably isn’t going to get you that much more high. And being high is definitely stuff stoners like. Anyhow good luck on your first time smoking weed. Let me know how it goes.

By Mat Lee

Tell us all about your first time smoking weed in the comments section below—did you get high, did you dig it, have a terrible trip?

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