Ngaio Bealum: 12 Marijuana Strains That You NEED to SMOKE right now

ngaio bealumWritten by the legendary NGAIO BEALUM, yo! 

Life is fine when things combine. Cannabis growers are constantly mixing and interbreeding plants to create new strains of cannabis. Do you find Trainwreck to be nice but a little too heady? Crossbreed it with a good indica. Mix that OG Kush with a Sour Diesel and you get a strain known as Headband.  Combine Hash Plant with G-13 and you get a plant known as Mr. Nice.  Let’s look at a few strains and the hybrids they’ve helped create.

The Progenitors
TrainwreckWhy is it called Trainwreck? Because this super strong pure sativa (mostly Colombian x Mexican sativa with a little Afghani) comes on crazy strong? Is it because of the rumor that this legendary, light green, long leaved, delicious plant was first grown in Humboldt County near the site of an old trainwreck?  The world may never know, but we do know that for at least fifteen years this plant with the strong head effects and the smell of pine and skunk has been a favorite of patients and growers everywhere. The effects of Trainwreck can be overwhelming for some new cannabis users.

Bubblegum—This strong indica originated in the Midwest. Known for its sweet sweet flavor (It smells like bubblegum, surprise) and strong couchlock effects. Bubblegum is often hard to find in it’s pure form, but it has been used to create many different popular strains.

AfgooAnother indica, this time from the Midwest.  Known for its pain relieving properties. Tasty, strong and a big yielder, Afgoo can be found at almost every cannabis dispensary.

blueberry weedBlueberryAs the name implies, this indica smells and tastes like blueberries.  Like Bubblegum, Blueberry is often hard to find, but it shows up in many different hybrids.

Haze—Haze is an old school pure sativa from Jamaica. Haze is a very strong breed. Many patients have reported psychedelic like effects. The flavor is spicy and earthy, with a hint of lemon.

The Hybrids
Blue Dream—A cross between Blueberry and Haze, Blue Dream has become one of the most popular strains in California.  This strain is very balanced, neither too heady nor too debilitating,  Blue Dream is a good all purpose cannabis for a variety of uses. It also yields well and grows fast.

Green RibbonDerived from three strains (Afgoo, Train Wreck, and Green Crack), Green Ribbon is definitely a winner. The light green and frosty look gives way to a fresh and slightly fruity aroma, which leads to an earthy sweet flavor.  Green Ribbon definitely exudes sativa dominancy.  Its uplifting and cerebral goodness lets the mind wander creatively, or focus intently during a task.  Patients often praise the pain relief benefits. Green Ribbon typically tests over 18% THC and commonly reaches numbers in the low 20’s. CBD content is normally present as well. Many patients find that the CBD content makes this herb not as likely to produce the anxiety that can be associated with high THC sativa strains like Trainwreck.

ngaio bealumBubba KushA cross between Bubblegum and the Kush plant,  Bubba Kush is my favorite of all the Kushes. Sweet skunky flavors combined with a nice balanced high make this strain effective for a variety of ailments. Bubba Kush is good for anxiety and depression, plus it will most likely give you the munchies.

The CureAfgoo, Bubba Kush, and a strain called Monkeypaw mixed together. Earthy and fruity, The Cure (named after the 80’s band, not the slang term for entering rehab) is a mostly indica plant that won’t slow you down too much.

BOG Sour BubbleCreated by the legendary cannabis cultivator known as Bushy Old Grower (BOG), Sour Bubble is a cross between Bubblegum and Bubblegum. By selecting different Bubblegum plants and breeding for desired characteristics, BOG has created a Bubblegum strain that is sour, smooth, and strong. This plant is a heavy indica, good for insomnia but not for when you have something to do. Occasionally, samples of this strain grown by BOG himself show up in Sacramento.

GSC WeedOther nice hybrids
Girl Scout CookiesThis is a wonderful plant with a terrible name, Girl Scout Cookies weed is OG Kush x Durban Poison x Cherry Kush. It does indeed smell like cookies. It is also very tasty and powerful. And its a Bay Area favorite.

Jack HererNamed after the late great marijuana superhero Jack Herer, this  mix of Haze, Skunk #1 and Northern Lights #5 is a sativa dominant breed good for clear thinking and stress relief.

If you don’t recognize Ngaio then you must be STONED. He hosts Netflix’s Cooking on High has like been on the Sarah Silverman Show, nearly won the SF International Comedy Competition…dude’s been on tv so many times it’s too much of a pain in the ass to name all his appearances on MTV BET, A&E, Comedy Central, etc. Anyhow, he’s a musician, hosts several weedcons annually, is a able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and smokes more WEED than you do.

6 Responses to “Ngaio Bealum: 12 Marijuana Strains That You NEED to SMOKE right now”

  1. Burnettaa1

    Wow post the weakest looking GSC flower you could find? GSC has very characteristic phenotypic traits that this picture doesnt show. I am a big fan of the look, smell, and effects of GSC and that picture doesnt do it justice. 

  2. Mike

    Apparently Burnetta so snt realize effect and smell dont work over the internet. Dogging someone on their cannabis is lame when its well understood its illegal and not easily available to everyone.

  3. Alex

    Sorry bruh but your knowledge of genetics stinks. Bubba kush has nothing to do with bubble gum. Gas is Durban x f1x og kush. No GDP in there. Haze from Jamaica lol. Colombian x Mexico x Thai x Indian sativas from Santa Cruz.

  4. kicha

    Lol Bubba Kush is not a cross of bubblegum and OG.

  5. FartFace

    We used to get “bubba kush” back in the day and it was like a Dubble Bubble factory. Always assumed it was bubblegum related. The new bubba taste like tahoe. . Of course im in a state where all meds are wack

  6. Austin

    What happened to just regular weed?

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