ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
It’s almost your birthday Aries and now is the time to celebrate you and everything you do. Beyond being the time to celebrate you this is also a time for you to dream, dream real big. I want you to take 30 minutes out of your day and daydream under the sun about what you want in life. But, be careful what you dream for because you just may get it. Inhale lots of Grandaddy Purple and give yourself a big birthday hug from me. Lots of love to you this week and the next. In honor of your celebratory month I am hearing Frank Sinatra and ‘Fly me to the Moon’.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
I know St. Patrick’s Day is over, but your metaphorical pot of gold is still waiting for you to discover. I see rainbows and enormous amounts of gold coins trickling down like luminous waterfalls. Your job for the next week is to open your mind to new possibilities and opportunities and look for the rainbow. It may be in a place you didn’t expect to see it. Inhale sativa hybrid strains this week, like Sour Diesel or some Jack Herer. Plus watch Kermit sum life up to this little diddy.
GEMINI (May 21- June 20)
Did you know the movie Jaws was plagued by production issues and catastrophes from beginning to end? For example, after the full-sized shark sank during its first time in the water, the crew nicknamed the shark “Flaws” and the “Great White Turd.” The shark was such an issue production was extended 3 months and Spielberg missed the Christmas release date. The movie ended up being released in the summer when the lower end movies were typically shown. And, guess what? The summer blockbuster was born. And, as of January 2018, it is the 204th-highest-grossing film of all time with $470.7 million worldwide, and the 66th highest domestically with a total North American gross of $260 million. Point being, Gemini, hard work and perseverance can pay off in ways you can’t even imagine. Inhale heave CBD strains and think about how any similar projects you have going on could eventually gross into something bigger than your imagination. Check out a song from Blondie that suits your theme for the week.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer my trusted friend your strength and wisdom are about ready to catapult you to another level of confidence that will ultimately shift your life in an unprecedented manner. Imagine yourself as the gorilla in the 80’s arcade game, Donkey Kong. Picture yourself smashing and crashing your way to the top of the board unobstructed. You are totally free to jump forward, one level after the next, annihilating the competition. Just remember when you win the big prize choose your friends wisely and don’t share your world with those who are undeserving. Inhale indicas this week, maybe some Grape Ape and listen to Oasis, ‘Wonderwall’.
LEO (July 23- August 22)
When I meditated on your horoscope this week Van Morrison’s, ‘Into the Mystic’, started blaring in my head.
When that fog horn blows
You know I will be coming home
And when that fog horn whistle blows
I gotta hear it
I don’t have to fear it
As, you may know, this song is about a sailor at sea thinking about returning to his lover, who is back on land. Normally a foghorn signals danger, but in this case it means he is close to home and his love. I think you could have a similar situation and/or scenario in the next couple of weeks. Inhale two purple doobers a day and remember you do not have to fear it you only gotta hear it.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
The next couple of weeks should be about you trying to be Spring. That’s right, I want you to be Spring. Think all things Spring like, blooming flowers, longer days, sunshine, rainbows, and baby bunny rabbits. Then, take it a step further and embody the spirit of spring and allow a rebirth or renaissance of your soul. Take cue from George Harrison and meditate on what Spring means to you. Stick to the Kush’s this week and listen to some Flaming Lips and ‘Can’t Stop the Spring’.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
You gotta find something that inspires you to live this week. Find and focus on one thing that brings you joy and leaves you awestruck when you do it, see it, hear it, or feel it. I can’t tell you what that one thing is, but for me it’s watching the ocean for you it might be experiencing a sunset or sunrise. Inhale some indica heavy Purple Urkle to help let your mind go and watch Michael Jackson perform ‘The Man in the Mirror’ for an example of what it is to awe.
SCORPIO (October 23- November 21)
The next couple of weeks could be a bit tumultuous for you and you might turn to destructive coping mechanisms to get through the madness. In one word, DON’T. Now is not the time to use force in anyway shape or form and now is the time to focus on coping with positivity and compassion. Remember, you can do this and if you allow yourself to deter from past patterns you could permanently shift your energy towards a new way of interacting with the world. Inhale two doobers today and two doobers tomorrow and then maybe two doobers a day until the anger goes away. Also, listen to Nirvana to help work through any internal turmoil.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
It’s been a tough couple of weeks for you. Lots of ups and downs, twists and turn going on in your world of volatility right now. Sorta, like the stock market for the last couple of months. Lots and lots of volatility. Don’t worry and most importantly don’t stress. Both worry and stress will never bring you joy and happiness and they are both deadly when consumed heavily. And, remember your life may appear to be volatile, but just like the stock market, the ups and downs are an allusion and if you diversity your emotions like your assets all will be well. Eat some heavy CBD edibles this week and relax your mind. Also, listen to some Dylan and ‘Blowin in the Wind’.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Have you ever seen Jane Goodall’s footage of male chimpanzees announcing their presence with authority running through the jungle? Often the male chimpanzee will start waving his arms, making noise with anything in his path to frighten and intimidate other males. The chimp could be 2 feet tall, but he appears to be 4 feet tall when he exercises his innate instinct. I encourage you to embody the animalistic qualities of the chimpanzee and let your community know you are a force to be reckoned with. Let the world know your voice is one that will be heard and amplified with fierce conviction and attitude. Keep things groovy with some Grandaddy Kush and don’t be afraid to do what you need to do. Listen to Stevie Nicks and her tribute to Jane Goodall, ‘Jane’s Song’.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
John Donne, poet from the 17th century, said “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.” I want you to put laser focus and meditate on his observation on humanity. You will gain great rewards and wisdom if you reach out to those around you and abandon any solo, i am my own island kind of thinking. Inhale lots of Blueberry Muffin and listen to Pink Floyd’s ‘Wish you were Here’. The song couldn’t have been written without the relationships created between Syd, Roger and David. They needed each other to create this work of art that will be enjoyed and experienced by generations to come.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Your birthday has come and gone, almost gone for some of you, and now is the time to reflect on all your accomplishments and successes. Write or type them down and then post them on the wall for the next couple of weeks. I want you to remember all the work and energy you have invested in projects of the past. This is the time to pat yourself on the back and give some praise to you. Inhale some Afghan Kush, kick your feet up, and watch some Kanye. Ain’t nobody more comfortable talking about his success and accomplishments.
PUFF, PUFF, PASS and be kind.
Post by: @StonedandStuff
Stoned and Stuff aka Shannon SInclair is a writer, project manager and expert on land-use and zoning. She’s also the mother of 2 boys, lives in California and is a frequent contributor to SSL.