ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
The astrological omens suggest you have been carrying an epic sized albatross around your neck and it’s time to let that stinky bird go. Maybe you are thinking I don’t have an albatross around my neck? Well, maybe you don’t, but I want you to think about any nagging feelings inside and try to connect the dots to the origin from which they come. This nagging feeling may be in the form of guilt, remorse, or a never healing wound. Inhale lots of indica this week, Grape Ape, if you can find it and meditate on that which has been unsettled for quite some time. Also, add a little classic 80’s tune to your playlist, Dead or Alive and ‘You Spin Me Round, Round’. Get off that never ending circle of self loathing, it will do absolutely no good.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
You are entering into a new phase full of opportunity and personal advancement. Why? Because you are done with the bullshit life has been serving you and you are refusing to take another bite at the dinner table. Now is your time to grab the bull by the horns and determine your own course and direction. According to the planets the path you take will be jeweled with success and happiness. If you let it. Inhale some Sour Diesel and let go of any anxiety that is accumulating. Listen to Bradley and Sublime for some inspiration.
GEMINI (May 21- June 20)
When I meditate on you and your tribe this week I see grey, many different shades of grey, some are light and blue others are dark and look like wet cement. It’s like a storm is brewing and the shades of grey are constantly changing and morphing into different versions of the same color. Think lava lamp, but the color emitted isn’t one of those cool 70’s colors, like green or yellow, it is just grey and alternate versions of grey. Why I am painting this grey picture for you? Because the time has come for you to see either black or white no grey. In other words, pick a lane and stop drifting into oncoming traffic you might get hit. If this doesn’t make sense to you then you need to inhale lots of sativa hybrids like Moby Dick and think about all the grey in your life. Also add a little Prince to your playlist. Why? Because you can never have too much Prince in your world and he never drifted into a world of grey. Allow the Peach and Black to wrap your world.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Sometimes we get so accustomed to our surroundings that we no longer appreciate or see the beauty staring at us. For example, I live in a pretty coveted area in the Bay Area and we actually have a ferry that leaves from the City in which I live and it goes to one of the most eclectic and exciting cities in the world, San Francisco. Everyday, multiple times a day, this ferry leaves the city in which I live and takes commuters and tourists around the bay area. The ferry has a bar and offers up one of the most stunning views in the world. How often do I use this ferry and enjoy the beauty that which is the Pacific Ocean and San Francisco, California? Uh, not very often, and I embarrassed to tell you this. I also live close to Yosemite and have never step foot into the park people travel from all over the world to see. I think you may have a similar situation or scenario facing you right now. Inhale lots of indica this week, try some Godfather OG, and think about what obvious opportunities of beauty you have at your fingertips. Tap into your sense of adventure and take some steps to get out of your normal routine. Check out Oui 2 and ‘Break from the Old Routine’ for a little inspiration.
LEO (July 23- August 22)
The astrological omens suggest you should be experiencing landslides of self acceptance, peace, security and stability. If all these words seem foreign to you and you can’t remember a time when you felt at peace, then stop, drop, and roll into another direction immediately. The planets are aligned for you to capitalize on being secure and if you are not working towards these concepts you need to do so. Inhale some sativa hybrids this week, try Amnesia Haze, to help forget all things that distract you from feeling peaceful and secure. And, listen to lots and lots of Stevie Nicks. Nobody is more at peace with herself than Stevie Nicks. Well, maybe the Dalai Lama is a bit more peaceful, but he has a couple hundred lifetimes on her.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Life rarely works out the way we plan it. Have you ever heard that old adage, ‘if you want to make God laugh tell him your plan’. No need to believe in God to get my point. For the sake of inclusivity let’s replace God with Universe and move on. The point and meaning behind the adage stands true. Life isn’t about the plan, but living the life and right now is the perfect opportunity for you to embrace and learn from this ancient adage. Inhale some heavy purple indica strains in the evening and relax with some Buckethead, ‘Plans within Plans’. Well, maybe relax isn’t the right word…how about, go jam with your best air guitar and play with Buckethead for some much needed ‘in the moment’ inspiration.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Maya Angelou once wrote, “I am convinced that most people do not grow up…We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.” Inhale some heavy indica herb this week and ruminate on Dr. Angelou’s observation. Now is a perfect time for you to learn, grow and master your own self exploration. Use the Stones as your muse this week, and this recent live version of ‘You Can’t Always Get What you Want’.
SCORPIO (October 23- November 21)
Valentine’s Day is way over, but love and all its glory is following you around like cupid’s little arrow. The next 4-6 weeks are all about love and your house of intimacy. I see you as a girls gone wild, cherub cupid with a pulled back bow and arrow poised and ready to catapult love everywhere you go. Use this time and tool wisely and don’t get caught up any drama. This time is about you expressing the purity of love not anything else. You should probably smoke two joints and then smoke two more joints to seriously tap into your love light. Watch the below link and check out a cool live performance featuring, Black Crowes/Bob Weir/Tedeschi Trucks Band ~ Turn On Your Love Light.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Sometimes the best way to figure out what you need to do next in life you have to look to the past for guidance. Now is one of those times for you. Generally, I don’t like to encourage not being in the moment and spending time and energy on that which happened in the past. But, the astrological omens indicate now is a good time to research and reflect upon past memories that may be resurfacing through your dreams and/or idle thoughts. Inhale heavy indica dominant strains like Master Kush and watch Zeppelin prove why they are probably the greatest rock and roll band ever. Ever.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher, once said, ‘Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.’ Learn it, know it, and live it. Lao’s observations are key to your growth for the next couple of months. I need you to learn to be water in times of difficulty and stress. Once, you learn this gift the world will be your oyster and you will be the beautiful peaceful pearl hanging out inside. Inhale indica dominant strains this week and pick up a new workout routine. The time is perfect for you to transform into a lean, mean, fighting, green machine. Add a little Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch to your playlist. There was a time Mark Wahlberg was known as Marky Mark and he led with his abs, oh wait, that is still true today. Love those abs Marky.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
The next couple of weeks will be all about you enjoying being you. You know you are on the special side and you aren’t quite like everybody else. Now is the time to celebrate this simple fact. The Aquarian tribe are known to be the water bearer of the constellations. But, did you know the Greeks linked this constellation with Ganymede, the cupbearer to the gods? According to lore, Ganymede was a good-looking young man who was the object of Zeus’ affection and was brought to Mount Olympus, where he served as cupbearer to the gods and was granted eternal youth. A similar situation may happen to you. So, sit back and enjoy this time, inhale sativa hybrids this week and listen to The Fly’s and ‘Got you where I want you’.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Have you ever heard the quote from George Santayana? “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”? That’s you for the next 3-4 weeks. Inhale some Grandaddy Purple and ruminate on this quote. Remember, if you keep forgetting or burying the past you will most certainly run into it like a hooker and chlamydia. So, don’t get metaphorical chlamydia and quit repeating past mistakes. The next 4-6 weeks will give you opportune time to benefit from this priceless lesson. Also, use a little Tina Turner as inspiration to motivate you to remember the past. Ms. Turner never forgot her past and most certainly never repeated it. Remember, she wrote Nutbush City as tribute to the town from which she came.
PUFF, PUFF, PASS and be kind.
Post by: @StonedandStuff
Stoned and Stuff aka Shannon SInclair is a writer, project manager and expert on land-use and zoning. She’s also the mother of 2 boys, lives in California and is a frequent contributor to SSL.