Weekly Stoner Horoscope for July 17-24, 2017
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Aries, now is a pinnacle time for you to give back to those you love. In order to give your maximum you could use a little pick me up just for you first. I would recommend a 50/50 hybrid concentrate this week to keep things light and happy. And, listen to the Beatles “Birthday Song” 10 times for inspiration.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus, you worry, you worry a lot. Sometimes the anxiety and fear overwhelm and paralyze your ability to move forward. Now, is one of those times. But, don’t fret my furrowed browed friend. The power to be positive is also at your side this week. Just focus on the latter and all will be well. Plus, you need to smoke at least three heavy sativa, joints a day. One in the morning, one around the noon hour, and at least one more at night time. I hear the Rocky theme song for you this week.
GEMINI (May 21- June 20)
It has been a tumultuous time for you Gemini. The next couple of weeks will bring clarity and solace. Find security and comfort in not doing anything and letting the forces around you do their work. Observe using all your senses and have faith in your intuition. Ruminate on Fleetwood Mac’s “Gypsy” and smoke heavy indica this week with a little sativa strain in the morning for a burst of energy.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, I wish I could rip a virtual rug from under your feet and allow you to fall on your emotional ass. You need to change things up this week. The stun of the fall would hopefully knock you into a different mental lane and remove you from your comforts. I recommend smoking heavy sativa joints and if you have dabs, dab them in the morning. Your theme song this week is “Changes” by Tesla, yes Tesla.
LEO (July 23- August 22)
Leo you rarely need to be told to open your mind, but that is not the case this week. Open your fucking mind to the many possibilities life is blatantly throwing your way. Try dabs in the morning and heavy indica throughout the day. Meditate on Pink Floyd’s “Wish you Were Here” and remember life is short.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Beauty is everywhere if you choose to see it. The trick is to not let your negative preconceptions interfere with your vision. Try and be open to what your surroundings are offering and vape heavy sativa hybrids to keep your creativity flowing. Instead of a song I see a movie for your must see list this week, American Beauty.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
You need another boost this week. Seriously, Libra, you are the shit and need to remind yourself of this everyday. Sativa anything will do you well this week and please, please listen to Kanye’s, “Stronger”, and think about what you can bring to the proverbial table of life.
SCORPIO (October 23- November 21)
Scorpio you are in a vortex of creativity and inspiration and if you ever wanted to experiment with mushrooms now may be the time for such a journey. Or, just stick to what you know and focus on indica’s with heavy crystallization. Now is also a good time to think about what excites you and how you can contribute to making this world a better place. Listen to the Stone’s “Sympathy for the Devil” and just ponder for a bit.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Sag, you have some amazing powers at your disposal this week. But I want you to remember what Spiderman taught us, “with great power comes great responsibility”. You could change the course of history if you want to in the next coming days. I would recommend smoking 4 evenly distributed hybrid joints a day and listen to Gaga’s “Born this Way”. Do some good.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
The goat is on top of the mountain this week and he/she should be blowing smoke down on the gathering crowd. Continue to let go of your inhibitions and remain open to all that is coming your way. Pay special attention to your intuition and remember everything happens for a reason and it’s your job to learn and grow from it. Listen to Prince’s “Play in the Sunshine” and make it your mantra.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
The waves are flat and calm for your this week. Enjoy this down time and go to the beach to fully absorb the energy of the water. Sativas or Indica’s, no matter to you this week, just keep it heavy and constant. I am hearing Sabbath’s “Sweet Leaf” in my head as I ruminate on your time and space. Listen and feel.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Learning and growing are your main objectives this week. Do what you can to tackle any new challenges with positivity and compassion. A nice edible might do you well in the morning and some sativa’s toward the evening. Think Pink, “Try”, and remember you gotta get up after you fall to move forward.
PUFF, PUFF, PASS and be kind.