Xzaler Review—Smoke Without the Odor

Like the Beastie Boys you can rock a tree on your mirror so your car won’t smell. But what the hell are you supposed to do about your apartment, bedroom or dorm all smellin’ like weed? What’s that you say, man, you live with your anti-marijuana mother-in-law and you wanna get stoned in the basement while watching that 70s show and you don’t want her all hassling you about the smell of weed. Well, you’re in luck dude, there’s a device for that. It’s called the Xzaler and it’s good at keeping your pot smoke a secret.

With the Xzaler you can smoke when you want, where you want and eliminate all odor! Well that’s what it says on the flyer that came with our test unit. Are those four people getting stoned in an 80s dentist office? We did notice, however, there were a few places that one couldn’t use the Xzaler:

Not on a train!
Not in a tree!
Not in a car!
Sam! Let me be!

Why? Because these places don’t typically have power outlets.

Our test Xzaler came with the Xzler system—a really well-constructed, anodized aluminum box that kind of looks like a digital ballast used to power a grow light. It also came with two hoses like the kind you’d find attached to only the finest hookah and two hose port adapters.

Apparently the Xzaler is easy as fucking to setup. After unpacking and plugging this bad boy in just open one of the Port Caps, insert a hose, turn it on—DONE. Now your ready to enjoy some big hits without stinkin’ up the damn place.

Say sayonara to smoke with the Xzaler. Remember that trap in GhostBusters? The Xzaler does to smoke what that Ghost Trap does to ghosts, man. What actually happens to the smoke? Fuck if we know, dude. We’re stoners, not rocket surgeons.

If you’re looking to smoke stealthily, who you gonna call? That’s right, GhostBusters. No wait, SmokeBusters. Damn it we fucked that up. Anyhow check out our buds at Xzaler.com for more information.

Want to win an Xzaler?

We just can’t accept this awesome $399 device. Why? Because it would be wasted on us. We love the smell of weed—sometimes we even stop to take a lingering whiff when we smell a skunk. But we know there’s some stoner reading this nodding his head thinking, “dude I NEED this thing.” So it’s yours. Leave us a comment and tell us why. Best answer wins. We’ll contact you via email and mail this thing to ya. If you live within the US we’ll even cover shipping. If you don’t…shipping’s on you, dude. Check out the video below for a demonstration from the manufacturer.

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View Comments

Wip says:

May 9, 2014 at 12:24 am

I need this because my wife is ALLERGIC to weed!!!! I know it's an age old joke for someone to be allergic to cannabis, but it's no laughing matter. Swollen, itchy eyes. Sneezing. Sinus congestion. It's bad. I already take measures to keep it away from her but this thing would be a blessing.
:^)_~ says:

May 9, 2014 at 7:45 am

I need this because i can catch more stoner chicks with this than i can with honey
Cleopatra Zones says:

May 9, 2014 at 8:30 pm

I need this so bad right now!!! First off I'm not technically allowed to smoke in my apartment... I've gotten caught like twice and fined $100. But Ofcourse I'm not gonna stop smoking I just burn hella candles and crack a window lol. But on a more serious note, I'm moving back with my mom in about a month. She is sooooo against weed and would NEVER let me smoke in the house. Even if I smoke outside and come inside she bitches about the smell. If I had soemthing the truly elimated the odor I could finally try to convince her to let me smoke In my bedroom! Smoking outside is cool for now but I live in OHIO and smoking a blunt in a blizzard is not what's up! Lol hope I win!!
Burn1dwn says:

May 9, 2014 at 8:37 pm

I need this really bad my wife doesn't smoke and we have a 2 year old so all I hear everyday is how bad the house stinks and she hates the smell please make my wife, little girls, and my life soo much easier
The real chris says:

May 9, 2014 at 8:45 pm

I'm moving to a new apartment in Washington D.C. And they are notoriously up tight about the smell of weed. This will significantly impact my ability to medicate. Please consider me!
-Chris
Stoner420 says:

May 9, 2014 at 8:46 pm

I need this because it'd be the perfect gift to my mom for me on Mother's Day. She hates when I smoke in the house so I'd think she'd be pretty happy if I had this around.
Chucky Anunciation Jr says:

May 9, 2014 at 8:56 pm

I need this so my wife doesn't bitch at me cuz it smells in the house from all the blazing in the garage me and the boys do. I have four daughters! Chuckyrankin@gmail.com
420Seabee says:

May 9, 2014 at 9:28 pm

I'm a disabled vet suffering from PTSD and a seizure disorder. My wife is "semi-casual" regarding me smoking, but she absolutely HATES the smell. She has never smoked and lacks the appreciation. Outta respect for her and being chill on my medicating, I smoke in the shed, but she still smells it on me a little. I'll live without it, but I could really put it to good use. Thanks for considering and for what you do.
Lyss says:

May 9, 2014 at 9:41 pm

One of my good friends was wounded in Iraq and recently got a new home through tthe government because he earned two Purple Hearts. He is an avid smoker and also has kids so this would be the perfect housewarming gift!
Stoney McStoner says:

May 9, 2014 at 9:52 pm

HOLY SHIT DO I NEED NEED NEED THIS!!! Im a college student living in the dorms. Already caught a $200 charge this year due to the skunk living in my room. Medication is absolutely necessary especially with finals coming up!!! Help a homie get some HIGHER EDUCATION!!!