Stoners Don’t Like Aerosmith

stonesmainImagine a bar band dressed in whatever they could find on the dirty floor of a thrift store, with a singer that looks and moves like Mick Jagger in the dark, and you have Aerosmith…aka a bad Rolling Stones cover band.

It’s not like stoners don’t dig cover bands, or rock and roll, or singers that hang a bunch of useless fucking bandannas on their microphone stand. Okay that’s not entirely true, we’re not sure if stoners dig that bandanna shit or not. Bandanna danglin’ seems sorta lame and passe. But, who are we to judge? Either way bandana hangin’ is great for singers who can’t actually sing because they provide a nice distraction. And as a bonus they’re an awesome way to hide a voice synthesizer.

So what if Aerosmith has been around for a while…have they been around as long as the Rolling Stones? product_thumbAnd so what if for a brief second things looked promising for Aerosmith when they ventured out of their comfy zone of classic rock plagiarism and collaberated with Run DMC. Remember that shit? All of a sudden Aerosmith were trying to go from hesh to fresh. And…well, that freshness lasted about as long as a bong hit. And, that collaboration did for Run DMC what Aerosmith thought it would do for them…give ’em some credibility.

Anyhow, here’s the point…why smoke schwagg when you can listen to the Rolling Stones? Did you catch how we just compared Aerosmith to lame weed right there? Because Aerosmith is the schwagg of Rock ‘n’ Roll!



28 Responses to “Stoners Don’t Like Aerosmith”

  1. fg

    AWESOME!

  2. IAB

    Respectfully Sir, I disagree! I thoroughly enjoy Aerosmith’s music and do not consider them a Rolling Stones rip off at all! I don’t believe for a second that a person’s music tastes have any connection to marijuana. All people have their own music preferences when stoned.

  3. Lyric

    I like Aerosmith and I smoke all the time!

  4. Juliana

    Hey! I’m an Aerosmith fan and I smoke every day… I wont let you say that!! AEROSMITH ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! You, on the other hand, suck!

  5. Baschive

    Aerosmith kicks ass an i know many stoners who like to listen to them, an i completely disagree that because u smoke u should dislike Aerosmith.

  6. Mif

    What the fuck does vintage have to do with anything? Music is music through the ages and for all time. Do you want to talk about how Mic and Keith really learned everything they know from black blues players in the south of the U.S. as they strolled about in England????? You want to talk about Vintage you will find yourself at Beethoven, then Mozart, then Bach. Music will always be music…as if the fucking time period matters????? Aerosmith did their part to contribute.

  7. Merissa

    I think the very first paragraph in this essay or whatever the fuck what you want to call is exactly the perfect way to describe Areosmith
    All I got to say is fuck all of ya who dislike areosmith<3

  8. Dave the Wave

    Aerosmith can arguably be named the best band in america simply for their longivity. One main difference between Aerosmith and the Rolling Stones, until recently, was the listless disaffected performance you could always count on from the Stones, live. That and paying 3 times as much for a ticket. I have seen both several times each, and to me Aerosmith was always a better show. Released music is the same way, with the Rolling stones not having released any new music of consequence for 15-20 years (Tatoo You? Some Girls?) Aerosmith, through the 80’s and 90’s released a series of releases that got better and better: Done with Mirrors, Permanent Vacation, Get a Grip, Pump, and others that solidified their band as relevant to new generations with their own soundtrack for the times.. Personally, I don’t know how anyone could say they are a rocker and that Aerosmith sucks.. maybe they aren’t exactly your type.. but go listen to Permanent Vacation, smoke a bowl and rock to that $h*t!

  9. Charlie the Banana King

    okay, personally i have nothing against Aerosmith, but they’re not that amazing either. However, everybody has to admit that Steve Tyler produced one spectacular thing…Liv Tyler…oh, yeah…i mean, Arwen the sexy she-elf…irresistable

  10. Cyberkick

    AEROSMITH ROCKS!

  11. Name

    FUCK YOU, TOO JULIANA BITCH! YOU MUST BE A TWEEKER!

  12. gregory isaacs

    zeppelin please……sabbath please………….aerosmith is not shall i say hard enough

  13. diabetes diet plan

    Real nice ! Many thanks !

  14. Danky Dan

    Aerosmith rock man wtf is with this guy this sterio typing stoners to like certain shit stoners are individual people and like all dif kinds of shit man not just one kind of music or wat eva and im to baked to explain anymore

  15. Mark

    Ah, I think you might just be pissed off because Aerosmith got clean and they don’t do drugs anymore. But they’re an awesome band. Sure, they’re not as good as the Stones, but so what? Who is? That’s like saying you can’t like any bands besides The Stones, The Beatles, The Who and possibly The Beach Boys. Sure, they’re the best, but you can’t just listen to the same four band for the rest of your life. Man, you’re too stoned to even make any sense. Weed makes your brain malfunction.

  16. Allen

    There’s one thing I always wanted to say to Steven Tyler:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVDN8yR3ig0&NR=1

  17. tube 8

    Hey! I’ve gone ahead and bookmarked http://ohhburn.com/2009/08/05/2-aerosmith on Reddit so my friends can see it too. I simply used 301 Moved Permanently as the entry in my bookmark, as I figured if it’s good enough for you to title your blog post that, then you probably would like to see it bookmarked the same way.

  18. Cc

    Love old 70s and 80s Aerosmith. I’m an 80s teen so I was listening to stuff from Motley Crue to Mercyful Fate to Slayer long before I heard my first Aerosmith tune. Even some of their 90s tunes were good. Stoners definitely like Aerosmith. 

  19. Teshsgarden

    I am 53, been a stoner for a long time. The Rolling Stones and the Beatles, Aerosmith rocked in there day, there original albums, you know, vinel records,we partied hard to all the greatest classic rock bands around, as well we enjoy some of the new bands as well,hate the frickin screamo crap, as well as RAP only missing one letter,that is letter C” at the beginning of rap,it is called CRAP! I kick butts if i hear rap, rave dance or any type of electro on my stereo, Rock And Roll,now Roll always go good with my sweet B.C. Bud. Medicinal grade up here is awesome. Stoners hate it when there music is CRAP  :Q

  20. Timothy Leary Byrnes

    I’ve been puffing tuff since I was 14(31 years ago) and I’ve enjoyed Aerosmith 4 longer than that!

    Timotheee

    :o)

  21. Alamn420

    agreed fuck aerosmith

  22. Tiluriso

    I’m definitely not ‘a fan’ ,but I dig a few individual songs here and there: ‘Seasons of Wither’, ‘Walk This Way’, Janey’s Got a Gun’. Steven Tyler may have thick lips like The Mickster, but musically I don’t hear that much similarities, other than The Blues’ influence. Their autobiography ‘Walk This Way’ is a great read though, I recommend it even to ‘non-fans-who-dig-a-few-tunes” like myself.

  23. Will Malven

    You’re right, Aerosmith sucks big greasy ones. Maybe 4 songs even half-way decent, Walk This Way, Big 10-inch, Janey’s Got a Gun . . . make that 3 songs.

    Great 1st paragraph!!! Definitely a perfect description . . . “a bad Rolling Stones cover band . . .” LOL!!! Perfect.

  24. JokerMachine

    yeah saw them at the Cow Palace in ’76. They had some of the best stoner music back then.

  25. Marcia

    Can’t compare there is no other no better than the stones

  26. Jerf

    Not a fair comparison. Old school Aerosmith, Get Your Wings to Rock in A Hard Place, wrote some badass music. Only similiarity is a love for blues based music and both singers look like large mouth bass’ mated with a chimpanzee. Stones definitely have written more consistently good albums though. That fact cannot be argued.

  27. Jerf

    Seasons of Wither
    Adams Apple
    Rats in the Cellar
    Woman of the World
    Spaced
    Nobodys Fault
    Sick as a Dog
    Kings and Queens
    Sight For Sore Eyes
    Bone to Bone (Coney Island Whitefish Boy)
    Chiquita
    Cheesecake
    Reefer Headed Woman
    Major Barbara
    Reason A Dog
    Darkness

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