Nothing’s as classic as the apple pipe. Well maybe the honey bear bong, but still. You know it seems like everybody who has weed but no pipe has an apple lying around. That’s why the apple pipe, sometimes mistakenly referred to as an apple bong, is so universal and so stuff stoners like. Plus they’re cheap to make, portable and ever so slightly (and all-naturally) scent your bud. So hey, if you want to learn how to make and apple pipe stay tuned, we’ve got a couple great versions for ya—the classic apple pipe and an updated version that leaves you with a snack.
How to Make a Pipe from an Apple —Classic Version
Let’s start off by making a classic apple pipe. It doesn’t matter what kind of apple you use—Granny Smith, those big fucking red ones that taste like shit or those hella sour little green ones—as long as it’s firm and fresh. Old squishy apples don’t make for good apple pipes, man. You’re going to need an apple with some structural integrity if you want to use it to get stoned. When scouring for apples, while you’re at it, make sure their ain’t any worms in your apple, nobody wants to smoke a worm. You’ll also need a screwdriver, a pen, ice pick—you know something to hollow out your apple—preferably something relatively clean. Now proceed like this trying not to shank yourself of course:
- Twist of the stem off the apple—this is where the bowl’s going to go.
- Stab a hole in the top of the apple and create a tunnel about 1/2 way through the fruit.
- Poke another hole through the side of the apple to connect with the tunnel from the top of the apple. You’re basically creating an “L” shape in the fruit. If you go all the way through the apple—congratulations you’ve made a carb.
- Get rid of any li’l apple bits hanging on that could obstruct airflow and now test your fruit making sure you can blow through it. to make sure you can blow through the apple. And that’s it—you’re done, dude.
Pack your weed in the top hole and inhale through the side hole. Don’t pull too hard, dude, or you’ll pull the weed into the apple—no bueno. If you went ahead and made an apple pipe with a carb just make sure you cover that hole with your finger as you inhale—remove your finger when you’re ready to take the smoke into your lungs.
There’s no need for tin foil or little metal screens for this apple pipe—you don’t want to heat that shit up and inhale those fumes anyhow. Keep it all natural, don’t inhale too hard—it’s an apple pipe, not an apple bong and you’ll be fine.
How to make an Apple Pipe —New School Version
Okay here’s a new twist on how to make an apple pipe. For this new school version of the classic apple pipe you’ll need an apple of course as well as a knife and a skewer or small screwdriver. You’re basically going to cut off a side of the apple, cut it into the shape of a pipe, poke a hole, make a bowl and you’re done. Confused? Don’t worry, man—we’ll break it down for ya:
- Slice off a side of the apple.
- Now slice off the sides of your slice—the goal here is to create a rectangular piece of apple.
- Cut the narrow end of the apple off to create a mouthpiece.
- Use a knife to carve out a nice li’l apple bowl on the fat end—take your time, it’s not a race, no need to chop off a finger or impale yourself. Pull off any li’l apple bits and use your finger to make the bowl nice and smooth. Use your shirt to dry off the bowl.
- Use that skewer, screwdriver, coat hanger, etc to bore a li’l tunnel through the apple slice. Take your time to line shit up properly—if you fuck up, start over with another apple slice. You’re done.
Again there’s no need for foil or a screen or anything for use with this new school apple bowl—just don’t inhale too hard and you’ll be fine. Bonus? You’ve still got some apple left to snack on.
So that’s it, man. We covered the apple bowl basics. You wanted to learn how to make a pipe out of an apple and we delivered—not just one cool apple pipe, but two. One thing though, you stoner, don’t eat the apple pipe once it’s done. That’s just nasty. Toss that shit in the compost pile or the woods or something, man and order some Chinese Take-out or something when the munchies hit.
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