Best Music to Listen to When Stoned?

What’s the best music to listen to when stoned? Here’s where it all starts, dude. We’re constantly questioned. What’s the best strain of weed? What’s the best way to get stoned? Who makes the best rolling papers? Why the fuck does Coldplay suck so much? Can I see your license and registration, please? But, of all the awesome questions we get asked, the one that shows up most often is: “What’s the best music to listen to when you’re stoned?” So we figured in between bong hittin’ and Coldplay-hatin’ we’d take a few minutes to finally answer this shit. And set y’all straight on what’s the best music to listen to when yer stoned. So the best music to listen to when you’re stoned is…wait for it.

@stoner_stuff When the high is right what do you listen too?

— Hostile Dawn (@Hostiledawn) February 27, 2013

Wait. For. It.

WAIT. FOR. IT.

The answer’s simple, stoners, the best kinda music to listen to when you’re stoned is…music made by people who are stoned!

What’s the best music to listen to when stoned? Well, shit dude, where the fuck do we even start to explain? How about with the fact that entire genres of music have been inspired, even completely created, by stoners, man. And that includes America’s first “original art form” a li’l style of music known as JAZZ, motherfucker. Jazz became so popular in America that one day they even named a fuckin’ basketball team after it. And because it had its roots in WEED…THE MAN hated it and tried to keep it down. You see, most squares back during the jazz era, like Fox News or that asshole Harry J Ansligner, we’re all hella big weed haters, dude. They feared and despised the DEVIL’S WEED for the very same reason hip, open-minded, creative musicians dug it, dude…because smoking that shit inspired inspiration! And that inspiration led to an unconventional improvisational new genre. And its root-bearers, it’s godfathers, it’s main movers and shakers…eryone from Miles Davis, to Cab Calloway, to Gene Krupa, to Louis Armstrong, from T-Monk, to The Count, from Dizzy, to the DUKE… all smoked WEED, son. And made some sick music to soak up while STONED, yo.

In the 60s, man, marijuana defined music. Dylan smoked weed. Dude wrote a famous song with the lyrics, “Everybody Must Get STONED”. And everybody did, man. You know who totally took his advice to heart, dude? Who totally embraced the herb? That’s right the boys in The Beatles. Yep, that freewheelin’ Bob Dylan turned them mop-topped Beatles onto weed one day and music history was forever changed. Weed blew open the Beatles’ minds so wide that they started smoking weed incessantly while incorporating shit like sitars and weed-laced lyrics and imagery into their music. Joplin, Morrisson, Hendrix. Weed. Weed. Weed. The Grateful Dead, The Rolling Stones, The Who—Weed. Weed. WEED. Clapton. Shit, Clapton was renamed GOD all across England because of his weed-influenced guitar prowess. Shit, the greatest thing to ever happen to WEED: motherfuckin’ PINK FLOYD, son, was filled with dudes who smoked hella WEED, dude. Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, James Brown, Little Richard, Ray Charles…all smoked weed, dude and made KILLER  genre-defying music that’s the perfect shit to rock out with your bong out to. #lamerhyme

Like, do we EVEN need to bring up reggae? Smoking weed is a prerequisite, shit it’s a fuckin’ requirement if yer gonna play reggae, actually. Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Toots, Jimmy Cliff, Burning Spear, Bunny Wailer you think any of those dudes made music while stoned, man? You can fuckin’ count on it. That’s why reggae rules when yer STONED. Do yourself a favor and listen to more reggae when you get stoned. You’re welcome.

Hip-Hop? C’mon, who you kidding, dude? Take your pick, man…hip hop artists are the new ambassadors of weed, dude. C’mon, Curren$y, Cudi, Khalifa, Weezy, Method and Redman, Devin the Dude, Cypress Hill, Snoop, Dre…weed. Weed. Weed. Weed. And WEED.

So let’s sum this shit up like this: From Chubby Checker to Kurt Cobain, dude, from Santana to Sublime, from Black Sabbath to the Black Crowes to the Black Keys to the motherfuckin’ Black Eyed Peas, man…it don’t matter what type of music you dig, or when that music was recorded…as long as it’s created by someone who’s STONED…it’s perfect to listen to while STONED.*

* except if it’s Coldplay. No matter what, Coldplay always sucks.